Speaking of change...Fast Company magazine discusses it in their May issue. Consider these myths (my thoughts are in blue)...
Myth: Crisis is a powerful impetus for change.
Reality: Ninety percent of patients who've had coronary bypasses don't sustain changes in the unhealthy lifestyles that worsen their severe heart disease and greatly threaten their lives.
I think he put it awkwardly but the point is, sustaining change is hard. Even the threats of death and hell don't always help.
Myth: Change is motivated by fear.
Reality: It's too easy for people to go into denial of the bad things that might happen to them. Compelling, positive visions of the future are a much stronger inspiration for change.
I'm guilty of preaching a positive message. You won't often see me pointing my finger at people on Sunday morning. Am I soft? No, I've just learned the hard way that being negative doesn't work. More importantly, I've seen the change that comes when you cast a vision of hope.
Myth: The facts will set us free.
Reality: Our thinking is guided by narratives, not facts. When a fact doesn't fit our conceptual "frames" -- the metaphors we use to make sense of the world -- we reject it. Also, change is inspired best by emotional appeals rather than factual statements.
Christians often fear being "emotional". It has it's drawbacks, but God gave us emotion to move us to do things that we wouldn't normally do without it. Sometimes we choose poorly in a moment of high emotion. But other times our emotion moves us take the risk necessary to make a God directed change. Wisdom (God's Spirit within us) knows when to act in the heat of the moment and when to walk away.
Myth: Small, gradual changes are always easier to make and sustain.
Reality: Radical, sweeping changes are often easier because they quickly yield benefits.
When people take small steps, it's easy to justify "going back" because it's almost imperceptible - no one knows if you are back-slidding or not because you never changed that much to begin with. But Jesus called his disciples to sell everything they had. He called them to die to themselves. When we make big commitments we often paint ourselves into a corner, forcing us to follow through on our commitment.
Myth: We can't change because our brains become "hardwired" early in life.
Reality: Our brains have extraordinary "plasticity," meaning that we can continue learning complex new things throughout our lives -- assuming we remain truly active and engaged.
The apostle Paul talked about being transformed "by the renewing of the mind." Science bears this out. Renew the mind and change will follow.
Want to read the whole article on change (fascinating stuff!), click here.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Monday, May 16, 2005
The Change Process
I've been a student of change the last five or six years. The whole topic is fascinating to me; both organizational change and personal change. From an organizational standpoint it's interesting what it takes to help a group through the change process without freaking them out! And from the personal side, it's interesting what it takes to help people make lasting change.
From my experience in working with people, I see four things necessary to bring about lasting change;
From my experience in working with people, I see four things necessary to bring about lasting change;
- Good information. Learn as much as you can about your problem. Your knowledge may not change anything, but just understanding the problem and it's source is reassuring. It's reassuring to know that you aren't the only one with the problem - that it's SO common that there are books written about it. When I teach on shame people are always amazed that there are distinct causes for their feeling worthless. When they see the cause and effect relationship it gives them a lot of hope. Plus, in some cases, information alone can bring change. I have people tell me all the time that they applied one of my sermons and it changed their life.
- Prayer. I know people who have heard every sermon and read every book on a subject and they still have no clue how to change. But I've been able to sit down with some of these people and pray with them and the change they've longed for hits them like a lightning bolt. Why does God choose to move through prayer? Three reasons: one, he gets the credit. If it was just you doing or thinking something, you'd leave God out of the equation. Two, praying WITH someone else brings your problem out of the closet and into the open. Three, God likes to work through other people. The process develops relationship and God is all about that.
- Discipline. You may have a true heart change but remain unchanged simply because you have developed bad habits through the years. This is the piece that many people leave out and then wonder why they slipped back into their problem.
- Support. God almost always brings change through other people. If you think you can find healing on your own...good luck. Odds are it won't work. Find yourself a good group of friends who will stick with you even when you keep messing up. Give them the right to hold you accountable.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
How to NOT Change the World
When I run out of insight, it's nice to know I can always borrow from someone else's blog! Sam Rima is a professor at Bethel Seminary in St. Paul. He is a nationally known expert in the area of leadership. Below I've quoted him from his blog today. He's commenting here on a speech given last night by Erwin McManus.
One of the comments [McManus] made that truly ressonates with me was, "If you really want to change the world, the last place you would want to be is in the majority of American churches." Our focus in the church has been trying to discover just the right system or formula to bring the organization that we hope will make us effective. We see the church in very mechanistic terms. In fact, we have organized the life and fluidity out of the church. The problem, as Erwin articulated it, is that our churches are TOO organized! We need to seek ways to create a little more chaos and disorganization. We have procedures and policies for absolutely everything! That is certainly true at FBC [that's Sam's church] ... we have organized the life out of the church!
Erwin also made the tongue-in-cheek (or maybe not!) comment that the most organized place on earth is a cemetary! Everyone is in their place; no one is causing problems; no chaos or confusion - just perfect order! His challenge was to consider:
(1) Whether our personal life and the life of our church are characterized by a faith that proves to the world God is truly alive. Are we taking risks for Him?
(2) Whether or not we are known by love - God's unconditional love. Do we and our church make people the highest value? Or are people simply seen as giving units, attendance figures, projects, or problems waiting to be solved? The essence of the church should be our love for one another and the world.
(3) Whether or not we are being a voice of hope to the world. Do we give people a sense of hope and encouragement to tackle the challenges and rapids of this life?
I appreciate what Dr. Rima said about mechanizing the church. I'm continually tempted to resort to a formula to bring the results I think we "need". But one thing that we've done "right" so far at Cedarbrook is we haven't let the cement set around anything. Nothing is set in stone. Everything is pretty fluid. It's that fluidity that keeps us walking in faith (and a bit of terror!) but it keeps things fresh and real. Thanks to Sam and Erwin McManus. (McManus is the pastor of Mosaic Church in Los Angeles and an author of some great through provoking books).
One of the comments [McManus] made that truly ressonates with me was, "If you really want to change the world, the last place you would want to be is in the majority of American churches." Our focus in the church has been trying to discover just the right system or formula to bring the organization that we hope will make us effective. We see the church in very mechanistic terms. In fact, we have organized the life and fluidity out of the church. The problem, as Erwin articulated it, is that our churches are TOO organized! We need to seek ways to create a little more chaos and disorganization. We have procedures and policies for absolutely everything! That is certainly true at FBC [that's Sam's church] ... we have organized the life out of the church!
Erwin also made the tongue-in-cheek (or maybe not!) comment that the most organized place on earth is a cemetary! Everyone is in their place; no one is causing problems; no chaos or confusion - just perfect order! His challenge was to consider:
(1) Whether our personal life and the life of our church are characterized by a faith that proves to the world God is truly alive. Are we taking risks for Him?
(2) Whether or not we are known by love - God's unconditional love. Do we and our church make people the highest value? Or are people simply seen as giving units, attendance figures, projects, or problems waiting to be solved? The essence of the church should be our love for one another and the world.
(3) Whether or not we are being a voice of hope to the world. Do we give people a sense of hope and encouragement to tackle the challenges and rapids of this life?
I appreciate what Dr. Rima said about mechanizing the church. I'm continually tempted to resort to a formula to bring the results I think we "need". But one thing that we've done "right" so far at Cedarbrook is we haven't let the cement set around anything. Nothing is set in stone. Everything is pretty fluid. It's that fluidity that keeps us walking in faith (and a bit of terror!) but it keeps things fresh and real. Thanks to Sam and Erwin McManus. (McManus is the pastor of Mosaic Church in Los Angeles and an author of some great through provoking books).
Monday, May 09, 2005
A Word of Hope
The following is an article that will be published in the Dunn County News this week. Maybe you'd like to consider forwarding it to a friend who is discouraged. Click on the link below (the envelope with the arrow)...
A reporter from the New York Times once interviewed Marilyn Monroe. The reporter knew that during her early years Marilyn had been passed from one foster home to another. So the reporter asked her, "Did you ever feel loved by any of the foster families with whom you lived?" Marilyn replied, "Once, when I was about seven or eight. The woman I was living with was putting on makeup, and I was watching her. She was in a happy mood, so she reached over and patted my cheeks with her rouge puff…For that moment, I felt loved by her."
Isn’t that sad – that after reflecting on a lifetime of relationships that a person can only think of a sixty second time frame that they felt loved? Marilyn Monroe was a success as a movie star but failed in life. After three broken marriages, she died in her sleep at the age of 36. I have to wonder if her death didn’t ultimately come from her never having been truly loved.
As sad as Monroe’s story is, it’s not uncommon. People tumble through life looking for someone, sometimes anyone, to tell them that they are valuable – that they matter. Psychologists tell us that our deepest need is to belong- to be intimately connected to others in relationship. The Bible puts it this way, “It’s not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18).
This sense of belonging is initially established through parental bonds. The bonding process begins right after birth when the baby is placed in the mother’s arms. Here, the child gains a sense of safety and security. As the child grows the bond is strengthened through different acts of love; the parents tuck them in at night, they look them in the eye and listen to their stories at meal times, the parents comfort their pain and wipe their tears and encourage them when their child is afraid. Plus, the parent shows up when the principal calls or, even worse, the police - about their child’s misbehavior. All of these communicate love to a child and helps develop a bond with them.
Bonding has to do with making a solid connection. It has to do with knowing that you are loved unconditionally – that there’s nothing you can do that will separate you from the love of your parent or loved one. Psychologist, John Townshend says…
“The best way to define bonding at its core is to say that when I am bonded, I “matter” to someone. When we are bonded to another person, we feel that we make a difference to him, that our presence is desired when we are around and missed when we are absent. This sense of “mattering” is in direct contrast to feeling overlooked, forgotten, or even simply tolerated.” Secrets of the Family Tree, page 148.
As natural as bonding should be between a parent and their child, it doesn’t always happen. The cares of our busy life quickly distract us and it’s easy to communicate the wrong message to our kids. In a survey of hundreds of children, one researcher (Delmer Holbrook) came up with the top three responses that fathers’ give their children’s requests to do something. The number one response? "I'm too tired". Second place: "We don't have enough money" And third place: "Keep quiet". These statements may be true, but are nevertheless alienating to a child looking to be affirmed and embraced.
A child’s parental bond is foundational to their future emotional health. Without it, they are uncertain of their worth, and will look high and low to find the affirmation for which their soul longs. The longer a person goes without the affirmation they need the more desperate they become to satisfy it. Morals that were once held close may be abandoned to widen the circle of possible relationships. Coexisting with this search is often a drive to perform, to achieve, to somehow prove to themselves and others that they are valuable. But if they fail, the pain is often so great that they turn to something to numb the pain. Alcohol or meth are cheap and easy to obtain. But other, more socially acceptable painkillers exist like work, exercising, shopping or eating. It’s not hard to understand how Marilyn Monroe finally gave up the quest.
By now you are probably depressed, aware of this vain search in your own life or having observed it in someone you know. If you are a parent, you may have a string of regrets for having failed to bond with your child and affirm them in the way that they needed. But we aren’t without hope. Thankfully we aren’t one or two dimensional beings. We have a spiritual dimension that we often overlook. God can provide us with the “stamp of approval” that we may have lacked from our parents or significant others.
Many people find the thought of an invisible God meeting this foundational need for bonding to be ridiculous. It’s too personal for a distant God with better things on his mind. Not true. The Bible tells us that we are foremost on God’s mind and he’s waiting to prove that to you.
The prophet Isaiah tells us that God “longs to be kind to us” as if he is in a waiting room counting the minutes until we give him the chance. Isaiah also uses vivid imagery to communicate God’s word. To a people who seriously doubt God’s love and concern he says…
Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for a child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on my hand. Isaiah 49: 15,16
The Bible is emphatic. We matter to God. He desires our presence and he misses us when we are absent. He is waiting to bond with us if we will let him. How can God do that? First, he speaks to us words of love and commitment (like through Isaiah). Then he shows us his love like he did through Jesus. The Bible tells us that… God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8. And finally,, God sends his Spirit, as an inner witness, to give us the assurance of His love and our value. Again, in the book of Romans it says, “God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us” (5:5).
I write today in hope of finding the Marilyn Monroe’s in this area who have given up the quest. You’ve exhausted all your options and you have resigned yourself to three painful options; enduring the pain, numbing the pain or ending the pain. I want you to know that there is a God who has your name written on his hand who is anxiously waiting to show you his kindness. He’s not looking for great religious acts but a simple invitation to enter your life and reveal the full extent of his love to you. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing God transform countless people in this way. Why not add your name to this list?
A reporter from the New York Times once interviewed Marilyn Monroe. The reporter knew that during her early years Marilyn had been passed from one foster home to another. So the reporter asked her, "Did you ever feel loved by any of the foster families with whom you lived?" Marilyn replied, "Once, when I was about seven or eight. The woman I was living with was putting on makeup, and I was watching her. She was in a happy mood, so she reached over and patted my cheeks with her rouge puff…For that moment, I felt loved by her."
Isn’t that sad – that after reflecting on a lifetime of relationships that a person can only think of a sixty second time frame that they felt loved? Marilyn Monroe was a success as a movie star but failed in life. After three broken marriages, she died in her sleep at the age of 36. I have to wonder if her death didn’t ultimately come from her never having been truly loved.
As sad as Monroe’s story is, it’s not uncommon. People tumble through life looking for someone, sometimes anyone, to tell them that they are valuable – that they matter. Psychologists tell us that our deepest need is to belong- to be intimately connected to others in relationship. The Bible puts it this way, “It’s not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18).
This sense of belonging is initially established through parental bonds. The bonding process begins right after birth when the baby is placed in the mother’s arms. Here, the child gains a sense of safety and security. As the child grows the bond is strengthened through different acts of love; the parents tuck them in at night, they look them in the eye and listen to their stories at meal times, the parents comfort their pain and wipe their tears and encourage them when their child is afraid. Plus, the parent shows up when the principal calls or, even worse, the police - about their child’s misbehavior. All of these communicate love to a child and helps develop a bond with them.
Bonding has to do with making a solid connection. It has to do with knowing that you are loved unconditionally – that there’s nothing you can do that will separate you from the love of your parent or loved one. Psychologist, John Townshend says…
“The best way to define bonding at its core is to say that when I am bonded, I “matter” to someone. When we are bonded to another person, we feel that we make a difference to him, that our presence is desired when we are around and missed when we are absent. This sense of “mattering” is in direct contrast to feeling overlooked, forgotten, or even simply tolerated.” Secrets of the Family Tree, page 148.
As natural as bonding should be between a parent and their child, it doesn’t always happen. The cares of our busy life quickly distract us and it’s easy to communicate the wrong message to our kids. In a survey of hundreds of children, one researcher (Delmer Holbrook) came up with the top three responses that fathers’ give their children’s requests to do something. The number one response? "I'm too tired". Second place: "We don't have enough money" And third place: "Keep quiet". These statements may be true, but are nevertheless alienating to a child looking to be affirmed and embraced.
A child’s parental bond is foundational to their future emotional health. Without it, they are uncertain of their worth, and will look high and low to find the affirmation for which their soul longs. The longer a person goes without the affirmation they need the more desperate they become to satisfy it. Morals that were once held close may be abandoned to widen the circle of possible relationships. Coexisting with this search is often a drive to perform, to achieve, to somehow prove to themselves and others that they are valuable. But if they fail, the pain is often so great that they turn to something to numb the pain. Alcohol or meth are cheap and easy to obtain. But other, more socially acceptable painkillers exist like work, exercising, shopping or eating. It’s not hard to understand how Marilyn Monroe finally gave up the quest.
By now you are probably depressed, aware of this vain search in your own life or having observed it in someone you know. If you are a parent, you may have a string of regrets for having failed to bond with your child and affirm them in the way that they needed. But we aren’t without hope. Thankfully we aren’t one or two dimensional beings. We have a spiritual dimension that we often overlook. God can provide us with the “stamp of approval” that we may have lacked from our parents or significant others.
Many people find the thought of an invisible God meeting this foundational need for bonding to be ridiculous. It’s too personal for a distant God with better things on his mind. Not true. The Bible tells us that we are foremost on God’s mind and he’s waiting to prove that to you.
The prophet Isaiah tells us that God “longs to be kind to us” as if he is in a waiting room counting the minutes until we give him the chance. Isaiah also uses vivid imagery to communicate God’s word. To a people who seriously doubt God’s love and concern he says…
Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for a child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on my hand. Isaiah 49: 15,16
The Bible is emphatic. We matter to God. He desires our presence and he misses us when we are absent. He is waiting to bond with us if we will let him. How can God do that? First, he speaks to us words of love and commitment (like through Isaiah). Then he shows us his love like he did through Jesus. The Bible tells us that… God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8. And finally,, God sends his Spirit, as an inner witness, to give us the assurance of His love and our value. Again, in the book of Romans it says, “God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us” (5:5).
I write today in hope of finding the Marilyn Monroe’s in this area who have given up the quest. You’ve exhausted all your options and you have resigned yourself to three painful options; enduring the pain, numbing the pain or ending the pain. I want you to know that there is a God who has your name written on his hand who is anxiously waiting to show you his kindness. He’s not looking for great religious acts but a simple invitation to enter your life and reveal the full extent of his love to you. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing God transform countless people in this way. Why not add your name to this list?
Monday, May 02, 2005
Mom, Experience & Theology
I wonder how much a person's experience influences their theology. I'd imagine it must be quite a bit. For example, I grew up spending a lot of time with my mother. My dad worked rotating shifts and my siblings were much older so it was often me and mom for supper. Plus, we lived out in the country so it wasn't like I was running around the neighborhood with a pack of friends. I'd often do things with my mom like play tennis, or golf or go skiing. We had a lot of fun with a lot of great conversations over meals.
With that background, maybe it's not too much of a surprise that when I read the Bible I see God using women freely and I quickly see scripture that affirms women in leadership roles. But, as some of you know, there is a pretty strong divide in the church over this issue. Others see verses that support women playing a much diminished role. They think women should never be in key leadership positions and never teach men. My guess is that if you did the research you'd find that past experiences with mom's and other women have a big impact on how people interpret scripture on this issue.
I'm thankful that God gave me a positive experience, not only with my mom, but with other women. I've often worked either with or for women in business settings with good results. And I can't forget my wife and daughters. I know that they too have influenced my thinking. Lisa is one of the most intelligent, trustworthy people I know. And both of my daughters are sharp as tacks with big hearts for God. I would never hesitiate to promote any one of them into leadership roles in my charge.
I know that Cedarbrook Church wouldn't be who it is without our women leaders. There are too many for me to attempt to name and do them justice in this small space. But those who attend Cedarbrook know who I'm talking about. God has filled them with his Spirit and used them to touch hundreds of lives and build the ministry.
If you are a women and have been diminished by people in your life, I want to encourage you that those experiences aren't accurate reflections of either your personal worth or how God wants to use you. Don't let small minds control you. Let God's Spirit be the one that affirms and directs you in this coming year.
With that background, maybe it's not too much of a surprise that when I read the Bible I see God using women freely and I quickly see scripture that affirms women in leadership roles. But, as some of you know, there is a pretty strong divide in the church over this issue. Others see verses that support women playing a much diminished role. They think women should never be in key leadership positions and never teach men. My guess is that if you did the research you'd find that past experiences with mom's and other women have a big impact on how people interpret scripture on this issue.
I'm thankful that God gave me a positive experience, not only with my mom, but with other women. I've often worked either with or for women in business settings with good results. And I can't forget my wife and daughters. I know that they too have influenced my thinking. Lisa is one of the most intelligent, trustworthy people I know. And both of my daughters are sharp as tacks with big hearts for God. I would never hesitiate to promote any one of them into leadership roles in my charge.
I know that Cedarbrook Church wouldn't be who it is without our women leaders. There are too many for me to attempt to name and do them justice in this small space. But those who attend Cedarbrook know who I'm talking about. God has filled them with his Spirit and used them to touch hundreds of lives and build the ministry.
If you are a women and have been diminished by people in your life, I want to encourage you that those experiences aren't accurate reflections of either your personal worth or how God wants to use you. Don't let small minds control you. Let God's Spirit be the one that affirms and directs you in this coming year.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Our Desire for Perfection
I watched "The Apprentice" again tonight. I wish I liked the people better. They all seem to be so self-absorbed. But I still like watching it because it's a great study in human nature and decision making.
There's nothing like pressure to bring out the best and the worst in us. The amazing thing about this show is that these people are supposedly the "best of the best" - chosen from a million applicants! Yet under pressure they all crack. You see their dark side - their pettiness, their pride, their self-preservation. This guy, Alex - he had it won tonight. He had it in the bag. But in the final moments - literally seconds - he lied to Trump. Then he did a poor job of covering his dishonesty. Trump fired him and it was a good call. Amazing.
The sad thing is that I'm just like Alex. So are you! Ah...the wonder of being human. No matter how polished we try to be we can't iron out all our wrinkles. We are permanently crooked. That's gotta make you wonder - Why is that? Why can't we get it right? It can't be that hard. But no one has gone to bed, or even to their grave, saying "I'm perfect. I can't improve. I've got this life thing down." Yet, most of us, keep trying. We don't give up. Something in us longs for perfection and we continue to pursue the dream- in our relationships, our character and for some of us, our golf game!
I think that's all a reflection of God. That drive, that longing, is put there by God. Why else would we be so resilient, so hopeful? What else explains the incredible come-backs that people have performed from Auschwitz to Lance Armstrong? Genetics? Survival of the species? No. I'm convinced that God is calling us back to himself through our desires. Ultimately, He is what we seek - the Perfection that we long for.
I believe what the Bible says, that one day we will meet God face to face - and then we will be satisfied. Then we will truly be at peace. But until then we don't have to bite our nails. We can know God now. The image is blurred and His voice is not always clear, but we aren't alone. He's with us. He speaks. And he brings fulfillment. As the apostle Paul said, God has given those who ask a downpayment of their future inheritance by sending his Spirit to live inside of them. It's not heaven. It's the appetizer for things to come.
There's nothing like pressure to bring out the best and the worst in us. The amazing thing about this show is that these people are supposedly the "best of the best" - chosen from a million applicants! Yet under pressure they all crack. You see their dark side - their pettiness, their pride, their self-preservation. This guy, Alex - he had it won tonight. He had it in the bag. But in the final moments - literally seconds - he lied to Trump. Then he did a poor job of covering his dishonesty. Trump fired him and it was a good call. Amazing.
The sad thing is that I'm just like Alex. So are you! Ah...the wonder of being human. No matter how polished we try to be we can't iron out all our wrinkles. We are permanently crooked. That's gotta make you wonder - Why is that? Why can't we get it right? It can't be that hard. But no one has gone to bed, or even to their grave, saying "I'm perfect. I can't improve. I've got this life thing down." Yet, most of us, keep trying. We don't give up. Something in us longs for perfection and we continue to pursue the dream- in our relationships, our character and for some of us, our golf game!
I think that's all a reflection of God. That drive, that longing, is put there by God. Why else would we be so resilient, so hopeful? What else explains the incredible come-backs that people have performed from Auschwitz to Lance Armstrong? Genetics? Survival of the species? No. I'm convinced that God is calling us back to himself through our desires. Ultimately, He is what we seek - the Perfection that we long for.
I believe what the Bible says, that one day we will meet God face to face - and then we will be satisfied. Then we will truly be at peace. But until then we don't have to bite our nails. We can know God now. The image is blurred and His voice is not always clear, but we aren't alone. He's with us. He speaks. And he brings fulfillment. As the apostle Paul said, God has given those who ask a downpayment of their future inheritance by sending his Spirit to live inside of them. It's not heaven. It's the appetizer for things to come.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
How Much of the Bible is Enough?
I've recently gotten a few comments back about my sermons not having enough scripture in them. I appreciate that. I love the Bible and I love a good sermon that helps me to understand it better. But some topics are hard to draw from any one Bible text. For example, my current series on "boundaries". There are some texts that show one or two aspects of boundaries but I can't think of any one text that teaches everything there is to know about boundaries. To cover all of the Bible necessary to make a good teaching would take months. I'm afraid I'd bore people to tears, and then it's not a good teaching!
So, as a speaker, I have a choice. I can spend my twenty five minutes surfing the Bible, taking a lot of time to tell one or two stories to make a few points, or I can spend my time making lots of points and make a few pertinent quotations from the Bible. I've chosen the latter. It may not satisfy the serious Bible student but it's really the only practical solution to my dilemma.
To satisfy people's need for more Bible verses, some preachers attach verses to their points in a forced way. I won't do that. That's not being intellectually honest with my listeners. The verse isn't being used to support the point. It's simply there to make people feel the sermon is more "biblical". But think about that. Does the volume of Bible quotations really make a sermon more biblical? Not at all. I've heard plenty of sermons, full of the Bible, that I think totally misrepresent God.
Read Paul's sermon in the book of Acts (17) to the Greeks. He didn't quote the Bible at all. He quoted their local poet. Yet Paul spoke truth that drew people to Jesus. There's a time to quote the Bible and there are times not to. I'm trying to find the right balance.
This summer we are going to do a study on the books of Psalms, Proverbs and Job. Hopefully that will satisfy those who are looking for more of the Bible.
So, as a speaker, I have a choice. I can spend my twenty five minutes surfing the Bible, taking a lot of time to tell one or two stories to make a few points, or I can spend my time making lots of points and make a few pertinent quotations from the Bible. I've chosen the latter. It may not satisfy the serious Bible student but it's really the only practical solution to my dilemma.
To satisfy people's need for more Bible verses, some preachers attach verses to their points in a forced way. I won't do that. That's not being intellectually honest with my listeners. The verse isn't being used to support the point. It's simply there to make people feel the sermon is more "biblical". But think about that. Does the volume of Bible quotations really make a sermon more biblical? Not at all. I've heard plenty of sermons, full of the Bible, that I think totally misrepresent God.
Read Paul's sermon in the book of Acts (17) to the Greeks. He didn't quote the Bible at all. He quoted their local poet. Yet Paul spoke truth that drew people to Jesus. There's a time to quote the Bible and there are times not to. I'm trying to find the right balance.
This summer we are going to do a study on the books of Psalms, Proverbs and Job. Hopefully that will satisfy those who are looking for more of the Bible.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
The New Reformation
I think that two hundred years from now people will look back on this generation and realize that these were the days when the church went through a Second Reformation. The first, of course, was started by Martin Luther with the Protestant Reformation. Luther objected to a religious system that favored the religious machine over the people themselves. The same is happening today, only in a different way.
Right now you can find churches that exist in two completely different worlds. The world that is passing away is one that is based on form and function. It focuses on what you do and what you know. Whether that's a focus on the liturgy of main line denominations (things like the sacraments) or the liturgy of the evangelicals (things like Bible teaching and singing), both are concerned about procedure - everything must be done appropriately to please God.
On the other hand, there are new churches that focus on being, on life change and on relationship. They too use the sacraments or Bible teaching as above, but they are a means to an end, not the end in themselves. In my opinion, it is this focus that breathes life and attracts people to God. People walk away sensing that they've encountered God while the former leaves people feeling empty and wondering if they did something wrong - maybe that's why church is so unfulfilling.
While I'm happy for the transition it also makes me sad because I feel out of touch with a large segment of the church. I'm not excited about what they are excited about. I used to be. But I'm not any more. And so a separation has taken place. I wish we could all walk together and share the same joy but I guess that is what transformation is about...a process.
Unfortunately the two extremes don't understand each other. We tend to call the former group backward and the latter group liberal. I've gotten my share of criticism, and to be honest, been critical of others. I hope we can make it through the next twenty years without doing too much damage to each other and God's name on earth. After all, it's all about Him, isn't it?
Right now you can find churches that exist in two completely different worlds. The world that is passing away is one that is based on form and function. It focuses on what you do and what you know. Whether that's a focus on the liturgy of main line denominations (things like the sacraments) or the liturgy of the evangelicals (things like Bible teaching and singing), both are concerned about procedure - everything must be done appropriately to please God.
On the other hand, there are new churches that focus on being, on life change and on relationship. They too use the sacraments or Bible teaching as above, but they are a means to an end, not the end in themselves. In my opinion, it is this focus that breathes life and attracts people to God. People walk away sensing that they've encountered God while the former leaves people feeling empty and wondering if they did something wrong - maybe that's why church is so unfulfilling.
While I'm happy for the transition it also makes me sad because I feel out of touch with a large segment of the church. I'm not excited about what they are excited about. I used to be. But I'm not any more. And so a separation has taken place. I wish we could all walk together and share the same joy but I guess that is what transformation is about...a process.
Unfortunately the two extremes don't understand each other. We tend to call the former group backward and the latter group liberal. I've gotten my share of criticism, and to be honest, been critical of others. I hope we can make it through the next twenty years without doing too much damage to each other and God's name on earth. After all, it's all about Him, isn't it?
Saturday, April 16, 2005
The Art of Preaching
I think preaching is an art in many ways. Today I'm thinking of the art of persuading people without manipulating or intimidating them.
Everyone knows when they are being "sold". We've all been in that uncomfortable position with a slick salesperson - it sounds good. You are reaching for your wallet but there's a small voice inside that says "He's not sincere. Don't do this. You'll regret it!" I don't want my listeners to have the same feeling when they hear me speak. So I try to show them that I respect their intellect.
I always speak with my listener in mind. I'm a cautious listener myself. I don't buy everything I'm being told in a speech (or a sales pitch). So I try to ask myself the critical question that I think my listener is asking at the time. I want to speak the answer to the natural question in their head so they say, "Hey, he anticipated that question...cool. I appreciate that."
I do that to show that I respect my audience. I don't think they are simple minded. They've got good questions and concerns that I need to address if I'm going to win them over. I never want to imply that they should simply check their brains at the door and believe everything that I say. That's insulting. If I want to help them see that God loves them and accepts them I need to start by showing them love and acceptance in how I speak.
So, even though I want to persuade people to what I consider is God's view (based on the Bible), I never want them to feel like I'm cramming "truth" down their throat. They have to buy every word and thought so they truly own it for themselves. I want them to not merely agree with me but be convinced that God has added to my words and spoken to them personally through his Spirit.
If that happens, that's the ultimate satisfaction - to have people sense that they heard from God somewhere in or around my speaking. But the quickest way to invalidate that experience is to cheapen it through manipulation or intimidation.
Everyone knows when they are being "sold". We've all been in that uncomfortable position with a slick salesperson - it sounds good. You are reaching for your wallet but there's a small voice inside that says "He's not sincere. Don't do this. You'll regret it!" I don't want my listeners to have the same feeling when they hear me speak. So I try to show them that I respect their intellect.
I always speak with my listener in mind. I'm a cautious listener myself. I don't buy everything I'm being told in a speech (or a sales pitch). So I try to ask myself the critical question that I think my listener is asking at the time. I want to speak the answer to the natural question in their head so they say, "Hey, he anticipated that question...cool. I appreciate that."
I do that to show that I respect my audience. I don't think they are simple minded. They've got good questions and concerns that I need to address if I'm going to win them over. I never want to imply that they should simply check their brains at the door and believe everything that I say. That's insulting. If I want to help them see that God loves them and accepts them I need to start by showing them love and acceptance in how I speak.
So, even though I want to persuade people to what I consider is God's view (based on the Bible), I never want them to feel like I'm cramming "truth" down their throat. They have to buy every word and thought so they truly own it for themselves. I want them to not merely agree with me but be convinced that God has added to my words and spoken to them personally through his Spirit.
If that happens, that's the ultimate satisfaction - to have people sense that they heard from God somewhere in or around my speaking. But the quickest way to invalidate that experience is to cheapen it through manipulation or intimidation.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
The Privilege of Pastoring
Someone asked me today if it wasn't wearing to counsel people all the time. I thought I should address that here because it's a common misperception.
Actually, counseling, and any pastoral "work" that brings me into the life of another person, is an honor. I really mean that. It's a privilege to be invited into the most personal part or time in someone's life. I'm invited into a person's most holy place - their "inner sanctum" so to speak. It's truly a holy moment to know that someone has trusted me (and trusted God by trusting me) to be that deep inside their life.
The other reason I like pastoring - specifically counseling - is that it is real. I don't deal with superficiality well. I know when people are giving me the fake smile and phony "happy" answers. I like hearing the truth and that's what I hear in counseling. I enjoy giving people permission to be honest without having to be "nice" or "spiritual" or anything like that. They can share all their thoughts and emotions without feeling like I'm going to tell them they are wrong or "unspiritual". There are few places you can be so honest. It's very rewarding to know that I serve that purpose in the lives of others.
The realness of counseling also helps me in my writing and speaking. When I write/speak, I'm not addressing lofty ideals. I'm addressing real life situations that I've helped people through at some time in the past. Or I'm relating how I suceeded or, more often, failed in life. That kind of reality makes my ministry that much more helpful.
I suppose some people would be bored or overwhelmed by such intimacy with people in these moments. But not me. I thank God all the time for the ministry he's given me.
Actually, counseling, and any pastoral "work" that brings me into the life of another person, is an honor. I really mean that. It's a privilege to be invited into the most personal part or time in someone's life. I'm invited into a person's most holy place - their "inner sanctum" so to speak. It's truly a holy moment to know that someone has trusted me (and trusted God by trusting me) to be that deep inside their life.
The other reason I like pastoring - specifically counseling - is that it is real. I don't deal with superficiality well. I know when people are giving me the fake smile and phony "happy" answers. I like hearing the truth and that's what I hear in counseling. I enjoy giving people permission to be honest without having to be "nice" or "spiritual" or anything like that. They can share all their thoughts and emotions without feeling like I'm going to tell them they are wrong or "unspiritual". There are few places you can be so honest. It's very rewarding to know that I serve that purpose in the lives of others.
The realness of counseling also helps me in my writing and speaking. When I write/speak, I'm not addressing lofty ideals. I'm addressing real life situations that I've helped people through at some time in the past. Or I'm relating how I suceeded or, more often, failed in life. That kind of reality makes my ministry that much more helpful.
I suppose some people would be bored or overwhelmed by such intimacy with people in these moments. But not me. I thank God all the time for the ministry he's given me.
Monday, April 11, 2005
Creating a Culture not a Program
I've been an observer of church life for about 30 years now. I haven't always been pleased with what I see. Church communities are often forced. People know how to talk about building community and take efforts to build community but I haven't seen a lot of church communities that strike me as authentic - that is - real people, expressing real joy and pain and finding true friendship with one another as well as God.
I guess that shouldn't surprise me. That's just the human condition. We are broken at a very deep level and intimacy is at the heart of our brokenness. But if God has come into our lives then I think we should be able to transcend this dilemma. We don't have to "fake it". We don't have to just have a shell that "looks" or sounds like community. I think we have the potential to experience the real deal.
Because of that I often resist trends to develop community out of a box. You can find lots of adult small group curriculum that promise that. But no program will create authenticity or intimacy. It has to be inspired by God, directed by God and given by God. And we have to be willing to long for it and wait for it without forcing it prematurely.
I long for that sense of authenticity and intimacy at Cedarbrook. I see glimpses of it and that excites me. Andre (youth pastor) has been thinking recently about the importance of "being" over "doing" and I think this is a big part of what I'm talking about. I much prefer to be a part of a group that longs for intimacy and authenticity (being) but has no idea how to achieve it than to be a part of a group that has the latest program that "looks" good (doing) but only goes through the motions of community and never achieves it.
As a leader, I think that it's more important for me to cast a vision for this kind of community - to stir our hearts - than to offer quick and easy solutions. Instead of developing programs we need to develop a culture that values authenticity and intimacy. If that is where our hearts are, it will happen. It's in the waiting and longing that causes the depth of our character and prepares us to embrace community when it develops.
How do we create a culture that breeds community? Boundaries play a role. Healthy boundaries have a lot to do with accepting people where they are and respecting them for who they are - not trying to force them to be like us. When boundaries are respected, then community is free to take root. We can relax and enjoy each other because we no longer have to fear being judged or rejected. We know that people accept us because of our inherant God-given value, not because we look or think like the crowd.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. I have the quietest readers in blogging history! What's up with that?????? : ) Click and share your thoughts. Thanks!
I guess that shouldn't surprise me. That's just the human condition. We are broken at a very deep level and intimacy is at the heart of our brokenness. But if God has come into our lives then I think we should be able to transcend this dilemma. We don't have to "fake it". We don't have to just have a shell that "looks" or sounds like community. I think we have the potential to experience the real deal.
Because of that I often resist trends to develop community out of a box. You can find lots of adult small group curriculum that promise that. But no program will create authenticity or intimacy. It has to be inspired by God, directed by God and given by God. And we have to be willing to long for it and wait for it without forcing it prematurely.
I long for that sense of authenticity and intimacy at Cedarbrook. I see glimpses of it and that excites me. Andre (youth pastor) has been thinking recently about the importance of "being" over "doing" and I think this is a big part of what I'm talking about. I much prefer to be a part of a group that longs for intimacy and authenticity (being) but has no idea how to achieve it than to be a part of a group that has the latest program that "looks" good (doing) but only goes through the motions of community and never achieves it.
As a leader, I think that it's more important for me to cast a vision for this kind of community - to stir our hearts - than to offer quick and easy solutions. Instead of developing programs we need to develop a culture that values authenticity and intimacy. If that is where our hearts are, it will happen. It's in the waiting and longing that causes the depth of our character and prepares us to embrace community when it develops.
How do we create a culture that breeds community? Boundaries play a role. Healthy boundaries have a lot to do with accepting people where they are and respecting them for who they are - not trying to force them to be like us. When boundaries are respected, then community is free to take root. We can relax and enjoy each other because we no longer have to fear being judged or rejected. We know that people accept us because of our inherant God-given value, not because we look or think like the crowd.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. I have the quietest readers in blogging history! What's up with that?????? : ) Click and share your thoughts. Thanks!
Jane Fonda, Insecurity & Faith
TIME magazine has an interesting article about Jane Fonda this past week. It's always interesting to me to see the common thread in everyone's life. The "verses" may be different in our lives but the song is the same. We all need to be affirmed and when we aren't, we malfunction.
Fonda said that she had "the disease to please" her father and every man in her life. Like a chameleon she became whatever she thought these men wanted her to become. When she failed at pleasing them she turned to an eating disorder to satisfy her insecurity - provoking a 30 year struggle with bulimia.
Yesterday I spoke in church about the three types of boundary disorders that people have. Either we enter people's space without their permission (The Space Invader) - we keep people out who should be in our space (The Wall) or we allow people into our space who shouldn't be there (The Sieve). ( You can download this here.)
Every one of us has a tendency to do at least one of these and they can all be boiled down to our insecurity and need to be affirmed. But if we were content in ourselves and confident of our value, we wouldn't have the need to do any of the above. And Jane Fonda wouldn't have had to live her life of pain either.
Is it too simple to think that we can find our sense of worth/value in God? It makes a lot of sense. If God says that we are valuable (not perfect, but valuable) then I don't have to jump through hoops to prove myself and win your approval. Just like the government determines the worth of the paper in our wallet, not me, God determines my value. Once I can grasp that then my performance in life flows out of my confidence rather than my fear of rejection.
The fact is - God has stated that we are valuable...so valuable that he manifested himself as a person (Jesus) and died for us. There is no stronger statement of our worth than that.
If you struggle in life finding acceptance and worth I want to point you to God - specifically Jesus. Ask him to reveal your worth to you from His perspective. If God says you are valuable, it really doesn't matter what you feel or others say. Let that truth permeate your being. Then take a deep breath and enjoy your life!
Fonda said that she had "the disease to please" her father and every man in her life. Like a chameleon she became whatever she thought these men wanted her to become. When she failed at pleasing them she turned to an eating disorder to satisfy her insecurity - provoking a 30 year struggle with bulimia.
Yesterday I spoke in church about the three types of boundary disorders that people have. Either we enter people's space without their permission (The Space Invader) - we keep people out who should be in our space (The Wall) or we allow people into our space who shouldn't be there (The Sieve). ( You can download this here.)
Every one of us has a tendency to do at least one of these and they can all be boiled down to our insecurity and need to be affirmed. But if we were content in ourselves and confident of our value, we wouldn't have the need to do any of the above. And Jane Fonda wouldn't have had to live her life of pain either.
Is it too simple to think that we can find our sense of worth/value in God? It makes a lot of sense. If God says that we are valuable (not perfect, but valuable) then I don't have to jump through hoops to prove myself and win your approval. Just like the government determines the worth of the paper in our wallet, not me, God determines my value. Once I can grasp that then my performance in life flows out of my confidence rather than my fear of rejection.
The fact is - God has stated that we are valuable...so valuable that he manifested himself as a person (Jesus) and died for us. There is no stronger statement of our worth than that.
If you struggle in life finding acceptance and worth I want to point you to God - specifically Jesus. Ask him to reveal your worth to you from His perspective. If God says you are valuable, it really doesn't matter what you feel or others say. Let that truth permeate your being. Then take a deep breath and enjoy your life!
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Does God Abandon Us?
Speaking of views of God (below), one false view I often hear from believers is that they think God "abandoned" them during a time of crisis. What kind of god would do that? I can't think of anything more crushing than to be left hanging at your moment of greatest need. In reality, what's probably happened is that the person in crisis thinks God has abandoned them because they don't think God is pleased with them. They, in essence, cut God out of their life because they think they "deserved" it. They have judged themselves unworthy and expect God to do the same. But the truth is that God is there all the time - undoubtedly sad at His inability to help the person because they shut him out.
I mention this in case you are in that place right now. Maybe you are going through a hard time (divorce? failing health? financial stress?) and you are tempted to think that things aren't turning around because God has left the scene. Trust me, God hasn't abandoned you. He's never far away. He's always near and quick to take our hand.
The truth is, many of our troubles are simply consequences of a long series of life decisions. God isn't going to magically fix our mistakes or even the offenses done by others to us. Rather, he promises to be with us through the hard times. Remember, the promise is that he will never leave you or forsake you. He walks with you through the fire. He doesn't snatch you from it. Just because your problems don't disappear doesn't mean that God has abandoned you. But if you'll reach out for his hand, he'll grab it and show you how to walk through these hard times and come to a place of new beginnings.
I mention this in case you are in that place right now. Maybe you are going through a hard time (divorce? failing health? financial stress?) and you are tempted to think that things aren't turning around because God has left the scene. Trust me, God hasn't abandoned you. He's never far away. He's always near and quick to take our hand.
The truth is, many of our troubles are simply consequences of a long series of life decisions. God isn't going to magically fix our mistakes or even the offenses done by others to us. Rather, he promises to be with us through the hard times. Remember, the promise is that he will never leave you or forsake you. He walks with you through the fire. He doesn't snatch you from it. Just because your problems don't disappear doesn't mean that God has abandoned you. But if you'll reach out for his hand, he'll grab it and show you how to walk through these hard times and come to a place of new beginnings.
The Impact of Your View of God
I attended a conference this week on forgiveness. One aspect of forgiveness is that people tend to forgive in direct correlation to their view of God. If they view God as kind, compassionate and forgiving they are much more likely to be the same toward others. Along those lines I've heard it said that every person develops into their image of God. If you think God is harsh and judgmental, odds are you too are a harsh and judgmental person.
It's always a bit confusing when I come across people who say that God is loving and forgiving yet they aren't that way themselves. There's a disconnect there that they don't even see. If they are honest about what they really believe about God, they'd admit that deep down they believe God is harsh and condemning. And that is why they are the same way. They are created in their image of God. Who they say God is is just a cover up for what they really believe. Until they discover this disconnect they are dooming themselves to being harsh and condemning themselves. It's too bad because they could be experiencing a totally different life - a joyfilled, peaceful life - but their view of God is shutting them off from that.
So, it's worth a look. If you find it hard to love and forgive others, check what you really believe about God. Ask him to reveal your heart and show you what's true. And then ask him to reveal his true self to you.
It's always a bit confusing when I come across people who say that God is loving and forgiving yet they aren't that way themselves. There's a disconnect there that they don't even see. If they are honest about what they really believe about God, they'd admit that deep down they believe God is harsh and condemning. And that is why they are the same way. They are created in their image of God. Who they say God is is just a cover up for what they really believe. Until they discover this disconnect they are dooming themselves to being harsh and condemning themselves. It's too bad because they could be experiencing a totally different life - a joyfilled, peaceful life - but their view of God is shutting them off from that.
So, it's worth a look. If you find it hard to love and forgive others, check what you really believe about God. Ask him to reveal your heart and show you what's true. And then ask him to reveal his true self to you.
Monday, April 04, 2005
Going Deep with God
At Cedarbrook, we are passionate about helping people find God. We recognize that there are all kinds of obstacles that keep people away from God so we see it as our role to help clear the path for them.
We are also passionate about helping people to find emotional healing. Life can be pretty cruel. We not only want people to connect with God we want to help mend their wounds.
But what about those who are connected to God and healthy? What place do they have at Cedarbrook? They are the backbone of the church. They are the ones that serve those finding both God and healing. Without their dedication we could never reach new people the way we do.
There is a misperception in churches that "going deep with God" means that you can quote a lot of the Bible and pray for hours at a time. People expect their church to offer a lot of programs to help their members know more. But I think the truly deep things of God focus around serving others and allowing God to change your character. I'm not trying to put down Bible reading and prayer - just offer a balance. I think we've all known people who can quote the Bible flawlessly who don't seem to be very concerned about their own personal flaws.
If you are a part of Cedarbrook (or another church), I want to challenge you to consider how you can help build various aspects of the ministry so we can be even more effective at helping people connect with God. It's not about you learning more. It's about you helping others who know nothing about God. Help with the youth or the children, lead a small group, assist one of the helping ministries like Celebrate Recovery or Divorce Care, be the most welcoming greeter or usher, offer your technical talents, start new ministries that help the poor or single moms or simply invite your friends.
Our goal is to echo Jesus who said that he didn't come to be served but to serve and to give his life for many. You can't get any deeper than that.
We are also passionate about helping people to find emotional healing. Life can be pretty cruel. We not only want people to connect with God we want to help mend their wounds.
But what about those who are connected to God and healthy? What place do they have at Cedarbrook? They are the backbone of the church. They are the ones that serve those finding both God and healing. Without their dedication we could never reach new people the way we do.
There is a misperception in churches that "going deep with God" means that you can quote a lot of the Bible and pray for hours at a time. People expect their church to offer a lot of programs to help their members know more. But I think the truly deep things of God focus around serving others and allowing God to change your character. I'm not trying to put down Bible reading and prayer - just offer a balance. I think we've all known people who can quote the Bible flawlessly who don't seem to be very concerned about their own personal flaws.
If you are a part of Cedarbrook (or another church), I want to challenge you to consider how you can help build various aspects of the ministry so we can be even more effective at helping people connect with God. It's not about you learning more. It's about you helping others who know nothing about God. Help with the youth or the children, lead a small group, assist one of the helping ministries like Celebrate Recovery or Divorce Care, be the most welcoming greeter or usher, offer your technical talents, start new ministries that help the poor or single moms or simply invite your friends.
Our goal is to echo Jesus who said that he didn't come to be served but to serve and to give his life for many. You can't get any deeper than that.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Dying with Dignity
I just heard that the pope is dying with dignity. I wish the same could be said in regard to Terry Schaivo. No matter how much I understand and appreciate the complexity of her situation and those who care for her, nothing justifies starving someone to death. I'm amazed that people could sanction health care providers to do this, as if starving her is not euthanizing her. Who are they kidding? Can anyone walk away from this and not feel like they just killed someone?
I wouldn't starve my dog to death. We wouldn't starve prisoners to death. Why her? It would have been more honest and humane to give her a lethal injection. At least we do that much for people on death row. But they didn't do that because then it would have been murder.
As is often the case, it takes a death before justice is established. I hope that Terry's death will serve that purpose for others in her condition. It's an emotional and highly charged issue. I don't want to come across as self-righteous because I know there are many elements that have to be weighed in all of this. I just struggle with the thought of starving someone to death. It can't be the best decision.
If I'm ever in that situation and people want to kill me, then please tell them to kill me flat out. Don't let me suffer while they do the politically correct thing in order to salve their conscience.
I wouldn't starve my dog to death. We wouldn't starve prisoners to death. Why her? It would have been more honest and humane to give her a lethal injection. At least we do that much for people on death row. But they didn't do that because then it would have been murder.
As is often the case, it takes a death before justice is established. I hope that Terry's death will serve that purpose for others in her condition. It's an emotional and highly charged issue. I don't want to come across as self-righteous because I know there are many elements that have to be weighed in all of this. I just struggle with the thought of starving someone to death. It can't be the best decision.
If I'm ever in that situation and people want to kill me, then please tell them to kill me flat out. Don't let me suffer while they do the politically correct thing in order to salve their conscience.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Clarifying the Vision
One of my favorite business/management authors is Marcus Buckingham. He used to work for Gallup, now on his own. I just read a timely article by him today called "The Clear Leader". His main point is that a leader doesn't have to be exciting or revolutionary but he/she does need to be clear. This is "timely" because one of my leaders told me today that he wasn't sure he knew what the vision of Cedarbrook was. Oops. Not good.
I think one of my problems is that the vision is so clear to me that I think it's obvious to everyone. Working three days a week at a treatment center I get the privilege of bringing good news of God's life-changing love/power to people who have no doubt that they need it. Many of them soak it in like a sponge and it has transforming effects. I don't doubt the reality of God or his ability to impact lives because I see it every day.
The mission of Cedarbrook is to offer this same experience to its members and beyond. We've put it this way - "Our passion is to first experience, then share, the life-changing love of God." Maybe that sounds too religious to be believable. But that's exactly what we are looking to do...first help our members experience the life-changing love of God - in their lives, their relationships, their thinking - and then have them share that good news with others. Churches are great at telling others about God - telling the Bible story. That's well and good. But I want us to add our own stories to that - our stories of how God has changed us in tangible ways. If we don't have a personal story then we shouldn't be telling others. That's phony and people smell it a mile away.
Our vision helps to facilitate our mission. Our vision is to facilitate this life-changing experience with God through biblical teaching, creative arts, opportunities to serve and authentic community. Once God changes a life there is a domino effect. They come into the church and add to the community by serving and they reach out to their families and friends with their story. It's not a canned presentation. It's real life. It's authentic. Believable. And that's why Cedarbrook keeps growing.
I think one of my problems is that the vision is so clear to me that I think it's obvious to everyone. Working three days a week at a treatment center I get the privilege of bringing good news of God's life-changing love/power to people who have no doubt that they need it. Many of them soak it in like a sponge and it has transforming effects. I don't doubt the reality of God or his ability to impact lives because I see it every day.
The mission of Cedarbrook is to offer this same experience to its members and beyond. We've put it this way - "Our passion is to first experience, then share, the life-changing love of God." Maybe that sounds too religious to be believable. But that's exactly what we are looking to do...first help our members experience the life-changing love of God - in their lives, their relationships, their thinking - and then have them share that good news with others. Churches are great at telling others about God - telling the Bible story. That's well and good. But I want us to add our own stories to that - our stories of how God has changed us in tangible ways. If we don't have a personal story then we shouldn't be telling others. That's phony and people smell it a mile away.
Our vision helps to facilitate our mission. Our vision is to facilitate this life-changing experience with God through biblical teaching, creative arts, opportunities to serve and authentic community. Once God changes a life there is a domino effect. They come into the church and add to the community by serving and they reach out to their families and friends with their story. It's not a canned presentation. It's real life. It's authentic. Believable. And that's why Cedarbrook keeps growing.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Branding a Church?
I just sent the following out to some of the leaders at Cedarbrook. I thought you might be interested. I offered my thoughts on five points on "branding" printed in Fast Company magazine - a business mag. Branding has to do with creating a corporate identity that connects with your customer base. I thought it had some application to Cedarbrook Church too.
Andy Spade on Branding
The visionary designer offers lessons from the world of fashion on how to brand your products -- and how to sell your brands.
1. The bigger you get, the smaller you should act.
Never, ever start thinking like a big company. Otherwise you become corporate, and there's no interest in that.
(To me, this means I need to see more people one on one, not less. I can't remove myself from the daily lives of our people. One of the things that has fanned our flames in the early days is the fresh stories of life-change and the passion of volunteers. When we reduce everything to a policy or a doctrine we've become corporate and lost what attracted people in the first place.)
2. Never believe anything you've done is successful.
Challenge it every second, every day.
(We are able to pull off events like we just did at the Mabel Tainter Theater because we have been willing to scrutinize every ministry for what works and doesn't work. We haven't been afraid to ask, "How can we do this even better?" Every time we do that we create the potential to reach more people more effectively.)
3. Brand consistency is overrated.
The brand doesn't have to look the same, but it has to feel the same. An element of newness and surprise is important for any brand.
(This is where core values come in. We want to offer new things in different ways. Someone stopped on the way out of the service last Sunday and said, "I've learned that I can never assume what's going to happen here on Sundays" -That was a good thing to her! But even though things are new, they still need to come from a common place, a core system of beliefs with the same message being offered-just in a different package. )
4. Brands should have some mystery.
Customers should never understand the whole picture of a brand.
(If we reduce God down to something too manageable and understandable, then we aren't being true to God. I personally am offended by simplistic - sound bite - faith. We have to maintain a mystery about God and church life.)
5. Your people are your product.
They are the vehicle through which everything happens, and they define what you put out.
(From the very beginning, others have been the driving force behind CB. As we grow, my biggest fear is that WE will become the driving force....what is best for us. Not just the insiders, but the leaders. We have to fight this tendency with everything we've got. The unchurched person who doesn't know Christ and the marginally churched person in our seats...THEY are why we do what we do. THEY are the ones we need to be in touch with and design our services and programs for...not us.)
Andy Spade on Branding
The visionary designer offers lessons from the world of fashion on how to brand your products -- and how to sell your brands.
1. The bigger you get, the smaller you should act.
Never, ever start thinking like a big company. Otherwise you become corporate, and there's no interest in that.
(To me, this means I need to see more people one on one, not less. I can't remove myself from the daily lives of our people. One of the things that has fanned our flames in the early days is the fresh stories of life-change and the passion of volunteers. When we reduce everything to a policy or a doctrine we've become corporate and lost what attracted people in the first place.)
2. Never believe anything you've done is successful.
Challenge it every second, every day.
(We are able to pull off events like we just did at the Mabel Tainter Theater because we have been willing to scrutinize every ministry for what works and doesn't work. We haven't been afraid to ask, "How can we do this even better?" Every time we do that we create the potential to reach more people more effectively.)
3. Brand consistency is overrated.
The brand doesn't have to look the same, but it has to feel the same. An element of newness and surprise is important for any brand.
(This is where core values come in. We want to offer new things in different ways. Someone stopped on the way out of the service last Sunday and said, "I've learned that I can never assume what's going to happen here on Sundays" -That was a good thing to her! But even though things are new, they still need to come from a common place, a core system of beliefs with the same message being offered-just in a different package. )
4. Brands should have some mystery.
Customers should never understand the whole picture of a brand.
(If we reduce God down to something too manageable and understandable, then we aren't being true to God. I personally am offended by simplistic - sound bite - faith. We have to maintain a mystery about God and church life.)
5. Your people are your product.
They are the vehicle through which everything happens, and they define what you put out.
(From the very beginning, others have been the driving force behind CB. As we grow, my biggest fear is that WE will become the driving force....what is best for us. Not just the insiders, but the leaders. We have to fight this tendency with everything we've got. The unchurched person who doesn't know Christ and the marginally churched person in our seats...THEY are why we do what we do. THEY are the ones we need to be in touch with and design our services and programs for...not us.)
Thursday, March 24, 2005
There's a Crack in Everything
I like to read through TIME magazine to stay current with world news. I can't say I read it for inspiration. But the closing essay this week was excellent- written by a follower of Jesus commenting on Ashley Smith and Brian Nichol's, the gunman in the recent Atlanta massacre. He offers an interesting view of grace. The quote at the end is worth the read itself. Go to http://www.time.com/time/subscriber/printout/0,8816,1039693-1,00.html
Happy Easter.
Happy Easter.
Risking Failure
I wrote below about Cedarbrook being in a time of transition. As new ministries are added the web of communication and responsibility gets more and more complex. I've worked hard at delegating authority so the success of any one ministry doesn't rely on me. The "I have to touch everything in the church" mentality that many pastors have is what condemns their church to stay small.
But letting go also means risking failure, at least in the short run. We've had very few meltdowns in our existence. Most, if not every big event we've offered has gone off incredibly well. But that's not reality. There will be meltdowns. There will be failures along the way. And, as much as that is disappointing at the time, it's really a necessary step in the process of transferring responsibility from the few to the many. Every failure exposes the weaknesses in the system that we can't see on paper. We can get mad at the mistakes (and maybe revert back to consolidating decision-making to a few) or we can be proactive and address the issues to make sure they don't happen again.
I believe that God has called Cedarbrook to reach hundreds of people, but that will only happen if leadership and decision-making is released to an ever-increasing circle of individuals. My input and the input of the LEAD Team will always be there to guide our direction, but we can't micro-manage if we want to develop our full potential. And we have to be willing to embrace failure as part of the growth process.
Why do I tell you all this? Because the same is true in life. We can stay "small" spiritually/emotionally by not risking failure - playing it safe - maintaining high control. Or we can "get big" by being willing to embrace failure and learn from it rather than running from it.
But letting go also means risking failure, at least in the short run. We've had very few meltdowns in our existence. Most, if not every big event we've offered has gone off incredibly well. But that's not reality. There will be meltdowns. There will be failures along the way. And, as much as that is disappointing at the time, it's really a necessary step in the process of transferring responsibility from the few to the many. Every failure exposes the weaknesses in the system that we can't see on paper. We can get mad at the mistakes (and maybe revert back to consolidating decision-making to a few) or we can be proactive and address the issues to make sure they don't happen again.
I believe that God has called Cedarbrook to reach hundreds of people, but that will only happen if leadership and decision-making is released to an ever-increasing circle of individuals. My input and the input of the LEAD Team will always be there to guide our direction, but we can't micro-manage if we want to develop our full potential. And we have to be willing to embrace failure as part of the growth process.
Why do I tell you all this? Because the same is true in life. We can stay "small" spiritually/emotionally by not risking failure - playing it safe - maintaining high control. Or we can "get big" by being willing to embrace failure and learn from it rather than running from it.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Growing Pains & Dealing with Loss
I've noticed that whenever I find myself frustrated/angry that it's often during a time of transition. Things in my environment have shifted and I need to make changes. The problem is that I don't always recognize the changes. I just feel the frustration and want a quick fix.
For example, there have been a variety of communication breakdowns among ministry leaders over the last month at Cedarbrook. At first I was tempted to just see it as mistakes that people were making. But it's more than that. I think Cedarbrook hit the tipping point in communication. The system that got us this far has finally revealed its weakness. It's insufficient. In other words, it's not the individuals who are at fault as much as the system that we have in place.
My frustration has become a red flag to me if I am alert enough to see it. I have to step back and ask, "Is there a change/transition in process that's causing me to feel this way?" Any change implies a loss. What was is no longer. A simple email or touching base with someone on Sunday doesn't get the same response that it did in the early days of the church. That's a loss. Life is more complex requiring more attention on my part. That too is a loss. I have a choice (as we all do in these moments of transition), I can remain angry/frustrated and hope that current problems merely blow over and get better on their own, or I can address the systemic problems to alleviate future breakdowns. It takes time and effort, but in the long run it's what enables us to grow and reach more people for Christ.
For example, there have been a variety of communication breakdowns among ministry leaders over the last month at Cedarbrook. At first I was tempted to just see it as mistakes that people were making. But it's more than that. I think Cedarbrook hit the tipping point in communication. The system that got us this far has finally revealed its weakness. It's insufficient. In other words, it's not the individuals who are at fault as much as the system that we have in place.
My frustration has become a red flag to me if I am alert enough to see it. I have to step back and ask, "Is there a change/transition in process that's causing me to feel this way?" Any change implies a loss. What was is no longer. A simple email or touching base with someone on Sunday doesn't get the same response that it did in the early days of the church. That's a loss. Life is more complex requiring more attention on my part. That too is a loss. I have a choice (as we all do in these moments of transition), I can remain angry/frustrated and hope that current problems merely blow over and get better on their own, or I can address the systemic problems to alleviate future breakdowns. It takes time and effort, but in the long run it's what enables us to grow and reach more people for Christ.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Overcoming the Pain of Loss
This week I'm preparing to speak on grief and loss. I've come across a number of articles that I want to pass on to you if you are interested;
- Fording the River of Grief. This article gives a good overview of grief and how to approach it. http://bgea.com/DMag_Article.asp?ArticleID=527
- God in the Journey of Grief - an interview with Evelyn Husband, wife of the Challenger astronaut who was killed when the spaceship blew up. http://bgea.com/DMag_Article.asp?ArticleID=406
- When the Grief Stricken Get Grief Stuck. This piece helps people learn how to move through the stages of grief. http://www.ctlibrary.com/9844
Easter week is a time to reflect on Jesus' sufferings. It's also a good time to reflect on your personal sufferings and find God's healing.
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Why Bother with Church?
If organized religion has problems, why bother with church? (see my post below). That's a question I honestly ask a lot. But I'll tell you why...
- God doesn't have any "only children". God has a family and he wants us together. We may not like our family at times, but he calls us to love each other and spend time together. Just like reunions bring children together who have parents in common, church brings people together who share a common faith in God.
- The church speaks truth into our lives (hopefully!). When we gather for a worship service or a cup of coffee with other believers, God uses each other to speak truth to each other. Truth keeps us close to God and close to each other. Truth encourages us and frees us to become the person that God called us to be.
- We can impact a community in significant ways when we all come together and pool our time, talent and finances. It's easy to become independent and self-centered. Church keeps our focus on being a blessing to others.
- People are attracted to God and added to the family when we work as a team to honor God with our lives.
There are many more reasons, but these are the ones that keep me coming back! If you think there are better things to do with your time I want to challenge you to join us at Cedarbrook for three months and see if it doesn't change your life. (I'm talking about more than Sunday morning. Get involved with a small group and find a place of service). Give God a chance to show you what he had in mind when he created the idea of church in the first place. My guess is that you'll come to the same conclusion that I have; the church is the hope of the world and I have to be a part of it.
The Problem with Organized Religion
I spent time with my brother this week. He really has trouble with church. It's not church so much. It's the people. He thinks there is a lot of phoniness associated with the church - a lot of people who talk about God and Jesus who never let it truly affect their lives. He's one of those people that doesn't like organized religion.
The funny thing is, neither do I! That may seem odd (being a pastor), but I know exactly what he's talking about. Organized religion can do strange things to people! I visited a church recently. It was fine. The music was good. The message was good. The people were nice. But there was phoniness. There was baggage - things in place that weren't necessary ...expectations, assumptions..."If you become a Christian you need to be like us." I know that from their perspective they were just seeking to develop community. They didn't see the baggage. But I did. And it was disappointing because I sat there thinking, "If my brother was here, he'd be so aware of the baggage he wouldn't be able to hear the truth of your words." There are millions of people like my brother who would love to be in church but they feel like attending would actually compromise their values. They want to know God better but they don't want to take on all the "extras" that church seems to require of them. So they keep their distance.
The sad thing is, I'm sure that Cedarbrook has it's own baggage. I just don't see it. But I pray for eyes to see the baggage so we can get rid of it. Our only purpose should be to help people connect with God and then let God connect us with each other. Community and commitment can't be forced by intimidation or obligation. They develop naturally as we find ourselves following Jesus together. Is that too much to expect?
The funny thing is, neither do I! That may seem odd (being a pastor), but I know exactly what he's talking about. Organized religion can do strange things to people! I visited a church recently. It was fine. The music was good. The message was good. The people were nice. But there was phoniness. There was baggage - things in place that weren't necessary ...expectations, assumptions..."If you become a Christian you need to be like us." I know that from their perspective they were just seeking to develop community. They didn't see the baggage. But I did. And it was disappointing because I sat there thinking, "If my brother was here, he'd be so aware of the baggage he wouldn't be able to hear the truth of your words." There are millions of people like my brother who would love to be in church but they feel like attending would actually compromise their values. They want to know God better but they don't want to take on all the "extras" that church seems to require of them. So they keep their distance.
The sad thing is, I'm sure that Cedarbrook has it's own baggage. I just don't see it. But I pray for eyes to see the baggage so we can get rid of it. Our only purpose should be to help people connect with God and then let God connect us with each other. Community and commitment can't be forced by intimidation or obligation. They develop naturally as we find ourselves following Jesus together. Is that too much to expect?
Friday, March 11, 2005
Is Faith for the Small Minded?
I read an article on John Travolta last Sunday (Life, March 4, 2005). They asked him about his interest in Scientology - a pseudo religion. He said, "Scientology is for people who want to think for themselves...it's the opposite of other religious philosophies, where you are told what to think." Hmmmm.
I've got two problems with that. First, it's good to be told what to think if you are in the dark about truth. Who wouldn't welcome that? Only the fool ignores truth when offered to him/her. Second, being told what to think doesn't preclude thinking all together. Once you are given the truth, then you can apply the truth in all of your reasoning. Receiving truth doesn't shut down thinking, it should expand it.
Travolta is reacting to what many have observed; that some Christians stop thinking when they believe (or other religious types as well). As much as I disagree with Travolta, I understand what promps his words. Sometimes faith is a cloud that descends on someone. Once that happens, they are worthless. You can guess their response to every question because they have been "programmed" to believe certain things. They simply spit out the "right" answer.
Travolta isn't alone. I recently read Harriette Cole's problem solving column in the St. Paul paper. Two people responded about the close-mindedness of Christians. One said, "I grew up with religion, but when I grew, I began to realize how irrational and unsupportive the whole system of religion is." And another protested, "Athiests believe in a moral society based on scientific truths, not a magical fantasy book that our slave-owning, witch-burning ancestors waved like a flag."
It's easy to discount these criticisms as "anti-God", but I think they are more anti - closemindedness than anything. We can show the world better than this. We don't have to be simplistic. I don't believe Jesus was. Simple answers are easy but God has never made convenience a priority to my knowledge. Some of the world's best thinkers have been strong believers in Jesus Christ. Let's follow their example and bring honor to our faith not ridicule.
I've got two problems with that. First, it's good to be told what to think if you are in the dark about truth. Who wouldn't welcome that? Only the fool ignores truth when offered to him/her. Second, being told what to think doesn't preclude thinking all together. Once you are given the truth, then you can apply the truth in all of your reasoning. Receiving truth doesn't shut down thinking, it should expand it.
Travolta is reacting to what many have observed; that some Christians stop thinking when they believe (or other religious types as well). As much as I disagree with Travolta, I understand what promps his words. Sometimes faith is a cloud that descends on someone. Once that happens, they are worthless. You can guess their response to every question because they have been "programmed" to believe certain things. They simply spit out the "right" answer.
Travolta isn't alone. I recently read Harriette Cole's problem solving column in the St. Paul paper. Two people responded about the close-mindedness of Christians. One said, "I grew up with religion, but when I grew, I began to realize how irrational and unsupportive the whole system of religion is." And another protested, "Athiests believe in a moral society based on scientific truths, not a magical fantasy book that our slave-owning, witch-burning ancestors waved like a flag."
It's easy to discount these criticisms as "anti-God", but I think they are more anti - closemindedness than anything. We can show the world better than this. We don't have to be simplistic. I don't believe Jesus was. Simple answers are easy but God has never made convenience a priority to my knowledge. Some of the world's best thinkers have been strong believers in Jesus Christ. Let's follow their example and bring honor to our faith not ridicule.
Monday, March 07, 2005
The Lure of E-Mail
I spoke on Sunday about internet pornography. Thankfully that's not a temptation to me. My biggest temptation is checking my e-mail! I office primarily out of my home (less distracting) and my computer is in our dining room (very central to our home). The computer screen seems to always be calling out to me.
There's something about mail that is alluring. As a kid, I always loved checking the mailbox. Back then, there wasn't much junk mail. If you got a letter it was usually hand written by someone you knew like grandma or someone. So I always had a sense of expectancy going to the maibox.
I feel that way when I open my yahoo account. I suppose it's because I'm a pastor that makes it exciting. I probably send and receive about 60 emails a day (total). I'm in contact with a lot of people and I'm often hearing good news. God is up to good things in a lot of lives. Other emails come from leaders with questions about their ministry. Sometimes I get emails from people across the country who read an article or sermon that I wrote and they want to thank me. Those are fun!
Knowing that there might be a mailbox with pressing questions or good news makes it hard for me to not check it frequently. It's addicting. I almost "need" to get that continual flow of information to be content. That's a little scary. So I started a new discipline. On Fridays (my new day off), I'm not going to check my email at all for 24 hours. I guess you can say it's a fast. I'm amazed how calming it is for me to stop the information flow. It's like not drinking coffee for a day. You don't get the buzz and your thoughts aren't bouncing around your head as fast as usual.
I share this because maybe you can ask yourself...What is it that I need to have flowing into me to be content? And ...What is it that God might be asking me to fast?
There's something about mail that is alluring. As a kid, I always loved checking the mailbox. Back then, there wasn't much junk mail. If you got a letter it was usually hand written by someone you knew like grandma or someone. So I always had a sense of expectancy going to the maibox.
I feel that way when I open my yahoo account. I suppose it's because I'm a pastor that makes it exciting. I probably send and receive about 60 emails a day (total). I'm in contact with a lot of people and I'm often hearing good news. God is up to good things in a lot of lives. Other emails come from leaders with questions about their ministry. Sometimes I get emails from people across the country who read an article or sermon that I wrote and they want to thank me. Those are fun!
Knowing that there might be a mailbox with pressing questions or good news makes it hard for me to not check it frequently. It's addicting. I almost "need" to get that continual flow of information to be content. That's a little scary. So I started a new discipline. On Fridays (my new day off), I'm not going to check my email at all for 24 hours. I guess you can say it's a fast. I'm amazed how calming it is for me to stop the information flow. It's like not drinking coffee for a day. You don't get the buzz and your thoughts aren't bouncing around your head as fast as usual.
I share this because maybe you can ask yourself...What is it that I need to have flowing into me to be content? And ...What is it that God might be asking me to fast?
Sermon Out-takes
Every week I have to throw out something from my sermon that I like. I think and read a lot all week and I REALLY want to cram it all into my sermon - but I just can't do it. Good thing we have to be out of the CineMagic by noon because it forces me to be concise! But I realized the other day that this blog is a good place to put those out-takes.
Last week I was talking about Romans 1 -3. Paul's making the point that we can't judge others because we all have issues. To us, those issues are minor. But to God they probably look fairly similar because he looks behind the behavior to the attitude of the heart. Didn't Jesus say that lust was equal to adultery and anger equal to murder?
I was thinking that if I asked God to send me the sins of my heart, I'd expect him to send me a short e-mail. But God would probably have to put it on a CD to hold all the files. I think that's a good idea of how far off I am when I am quick to overlook my sin and judge others. There's a lot more there than I think there is. How about you?
Last week I was talking about Romans 1 -3. Paul's making the point that we can't judge others because we all have issues. To us, those issues are minor. But to God they probably look fairly similar because he looks behind the behavior to the attitude of the heart. Didn't Jesus say that lust was equal to adultery and anger equal to murder?
I was thinking that if I asked God to send me the sins of my heart, I'd expect him to send me a short e-mail. But God would probably have to put it on a CD to hold all the files. I think that's a good idea of how far off I am when I am quick to overlook my sin and judge others. There's a lot more there than I think there is. How about you?
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Why I Try Not to Use the Word "Sin"
Not too long ago a new person at Cedarbrook wrote to us and said they probably weren't going to return often to Cedarbrook because they noticed that I purposefully used the word "mistakes" instead of the word "sin" in my sermon. I guess they saw that as a moral and theological compromise on my part. So, let me explain.
I often use synonyms or descriptive phrases for "sin" when I speak- for a very definite reason - the word "sin" carries all kinds of double meanings and baggage. I purposefully don't use it because I don't want someone assuming I mean "x" when I really mean "y". ( I do the same for other words like "Christian", "saved", sanctified, etc.)
For example, to many unchurched people (many whom attend Cedarbrook), "sin" implys that they are evil and therefore God doesn't like them. Sin is thought of in terms of "big" things like murder or adultery, etc. and not in terms of more hidden issues like greed or anger or envy.
Biblically, "sin" is falling short of God's glory - or perfection. That being true, every thing that I do is sin because I don't do anything perfectly. My understanding of sin is not exclusive (pointing the finger at bad people) but inclusive - meaning that I'm fully aware that we are all in the same boat and therefore need to work together to cling to Jesus for salvation.
If everyone understood sin like I do, I'd always use the word sin. But few do. Using the word "sin" brings more confusion and reinforces bad theology. So I rarely use it unless I've defined the word in context.
One thing very different about Cedarbrook, compared to other churches, is that we tailor everything (as much as possible) to be understood by unchurched, bibilically ignorant people. We don't "dumb things down" intellectually but we do try to use terms that everyone understands and can relate to. For some well churched people, it takes time getting used to this because they are more comfortable with a well established Christian vocabulary. But I'm very committed to speaking in a language that people can understand so they are drawn to God and do not prematurely reject him simply because they misunderstood a term used.
I often use synonyms or descriptive phrases for "sin" when I speak- for a very definite reason - the word "sin" carries all kinds of double meanings and baggage. I purposefully don't use it because I don't want someone assuming I mean "x" when I really mean "y". ( I do the same for other words like "Christian", "saved", sanctified, etc.)
For example, to many unchurched people (many whom attend Cedarbrook), "sin" implys that they are evil and therefore God doesn't like them. Sin is thought of in terms of "big" things like murder or adultery, etc. and not in terms of more hidden issues like greed or anger or envy.
Biblically, "sin" is falling short of God's glory - or perfection. That being true, every thing that I do is sin because I don't do anything perfectly. My understanding of sin is not exclusive (pointing the finger at bad people) but inclusive - meaning that I'm fully aware that we are all in the same boat and therefore need to work together to cling to Jesus for salvation.
If everyone understood sin like I do, I'd always use the word sin. But few do. Using the word "sin" brings more confusion and reinforces bad theology. So I rarely use it unless I've defined the word in context.
One thing very different about Cedarbrook, compared to other churches, is that we tailor everything (as much as possible) to be understood by unchurched, bibilically ignorant people. We don't "dumb things down" intellectually but we do try to use terms that everyone understands and can relate to. For some well churched people, it takes time getting used to this because they are more comfortable with a well established Christian vocabulary. But I'm very committed to speaking in a language that people can understand so they are drawn to God and do not prematurely reject him simply because they misunderstood a term used.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
The Offense of Grace
I'm continually amazed by grace. It's so complex and it's impact on people is astounding...not always in a good way.
Grace is troubling. It's not always what we want it to be. For the "sinner" grace doesn't lower the bar of God's standard. It doesn't let people off the hook or wink at their sin. Jesus still says, "Be holy for I am holy". That's hard for the "sinner" because they are ashamed of their failure and can't find the strength to obey. They hope that grace will simply forgive and forget.
For the "religious" grace is also hard. It's hard to hear that you and the sinner are seen by God as the same - that your works don't earn you any credit. It's hard to hear that the motives of everyone's heart are wicked and deceitful regardless of how we act. They like to think that they are better than "those people". They want to know that grace has been offered to them because they did something special in God's eyes.
Grace doesn't always make us warm and fuzzy. Sometimes it makes us bitter because we thought it was something that it's not.
But seen through the right lense grace forgives the "sinner" and empowers them to change. Grace gives them the second and third chance (and even more) than they really deserve to be given. And grace offers to them the power of God's Spirit to help them to do things that they never thought they were capable of doing. Rather than merely covering their sin, grace strengthens them to conquer sin. And even if they never achieve the ideal, they know that God accepts them based on Jesus' work on the cross, not their work on earth.
And for the religious, grace can melt their hard heart. It can give them insight into the hidden motives that they are too quick to ignore. Grace helps them to see that rather than being a "cut above" the rest that they share most things in common. Suddenly they are able to talk to the broken, the divorced, the abused, the homosexual, etc. because they see that they too are broken. They don't have it all together either and thankfully Jesus accepts them apart from their good works.
Whether you see yourself more as the "sinner" or the "religious" I hope you can push through the offense of grace and allow it to transform you into the person that God made you to be.
Grace is troubling. It's not always what we want it to be. For the "sinner" grace doesn't lower the bar of God's standard. It doesn't let people off the hook or wink at their sin. Jesus still says, "Be holy for I am holy". That's hard for the "sinner" because they are ashamed of their failure and can't find the strength to obey. They hope that grace will simply forgive and forget.
For the "religious" grace is also hard. It's hard to hear that you and the sinner are seen by God as the same - that your works don't earn you any credit. It's hard to hear that the motives of everyone's heart are wicked and deceitful regardless of how we act. They like to think that they are better than "those people". They want to know that grace has been offered to them because they did something special in God's eyes.
Grace doesn't always make us warm and fuzzy. Sometimes it makes us bitter because we thought it was something that it's not.
But seen through the right lense grace forgives the "sinner" and empowers them to change. Grace gives them the second and third chance (and even more) than they really deserve to be given. And grace offers to them the power of God's Spirit to help them to do things that they never thought they were capable of doing. Rather than merely covering their sin, grace strengthens them to conquer sin. And even if they never achieve the ideal, they know that God accepts them based on Jesus' work on the cross, not their work on earth.
And for the religious, grace can melt their hard heart. It can give them insight into the hidden motives that they are too quick to ignore. Grace helps them to see that rather than being a "cut above" the rest that they share most things in common. Suddenly they are able to talk to the broken, the divorced, the abused, the homosexual, etc. because they see that they too are broken. They don't have it all together either and thankfully Jesus accepts them apart from their good works.
Whether you see yourself more as the "sinner" or the "religious" I hope you can push through the offense of grace and allow it to transform you into the person that God made you to be.
Stories of Those Struggling with Homosexuality
I've read a number of excellent articles for my recent message that I thought you might enjoy reading yourself. Here are some links:
- My Path to Lesbianism http://christianitytoday.com/ct/2005/002/36.62.html . This article explains how a woman was led into the gay lifestyle from past hurts and how she was able to walk away.
- Cheated by the Affirming Church http://christianitytoday.com/ct/2004/012/36.50.html . The title tells you how this author feels about a church that chooses to only affirm homosexuals and not help them to change.
- No Easy Victory http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2002/003/2.50.html . This piece gives you good insight into the life of someone who struggles with same sex attraction even though he's tried everything he can do change.
Some of these articles also offer links to ministries that help Christians with their same sex attraction.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Speaking Truth or Opinion?
I've changed the way I preach. I often qualify what I speak by saying something like, "That's what I believe, now you have to ask God if it's true" or "You can believe what you want. Aren't you glad you don't have to answer to me?" Some people may think that that takes away from the power of preaching but I think it's a much more honest approach.
I grew up as a Christian listening to preachers that were convinced that every word they spoke was sent from heaven. Their passion and strong conviction impressed me. I believed everything they said and wanted to be just like them. But as years went by and I grew in my relationship to God I started to question my mentors. Some of the things they said were just plain wrong. I'm sure they thought they were right at the time but now with new information and new experiences under my belt, I could see that they were misguided.
Those experiences have made me cautious in both how I listen and how I speak. It's made me slow to buy everything I hear and temper my desire to proclaim "the truth". Not that I don't believe what I say is true, but I have to understand that I'm fallible. I hear things through my own filters and dysfunction. I do my best to check my thoughts against what other people have said but when it comes right down to it, only God knows the truth.
Now, there are some things that I'm rock solid about - the basics of the faith - Jesus coming and dying for our sins, etc. I'm talking more about how we apply our beliefs to daily life or maybe those debatable passages in scripture or doctrines of the church.
Occassionally someone will come up to me after I speak and say, "You really nailed that!" "That was exactly right!" I don't know how to respond because they may only be saying that they see life through the same filters that I do. Or then again, maybe I did get it exactly right!
My point in all of this is that in both speaking and listening we have to be humble. As much as it feeds our ego, we can't always be confident that we are proclaiming or hearing truth. We need to welcome the Spirit of God into our lives to show us what is true... it may take years for some things to click. Only then will we know if what was proclaimed was true or false.
I grew up as a Christian listening to preachers that were convinced that every word they spoke was sent from heaven. Their passion and strong conviction impressed me. I believed everything they said and wanted to be just like them. But as years went by and I grew in my relationship to God I started to question my mentors. Some of the things they said were just plain wrong. I'm sure they thought they were right at the time but now with new information and new experiences under my belt, I could see that they were misguided.
Those experiences have made me cautious in both how I listen and how I speak. It's made me slow to buy everything I hear and temper my desire to proclaim "the truth". Not that I don't believe what I say is true, but I have to understand that I'm fallible. I hear things through my own filters and dysfunction. I do my best to check my thoughts against what other people have said but when it comes right down to it, only God knows the truth.
Now, there are some things that I'm rock solid about - the basics of the faith - Jesus coming and dying for our sins, etc. I'm talking more about how we apply our beliefs to daily life or maybe those debatable passages in scripture or doctrines of the church.
Occassionally someone will come up to me after I speak and say, "You really nailed that!" "That was exactly right!" I don't know how to respond because they may only be saying that they see life through the same filters that I do. Or then again, maybe I did get it exactly right!
My point in all of this is that in both speaking and listening we have to be humble. As much as it feeds our ego, we can't always be confident that we are proclaiming or hearing truth. We need to welcome the Spirit of God into our lives to show us what is true... it may take years for some things to click. Only then will we know if what was proclaimed was true or false.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Taking Time to Have Fun
I was at a conference a few months ago and a friend stopped to talk to me. He said, "So, Remy, what are you doing for fun these days?" It was like a shot to the heart. I felt sad and embarrassed all at once. I said, "Tom, I don't do fun. I haven't figured out how to pursue excellence and fun at the same time."
My answer has haunted me ever since. I should be able to make time for fun but it seems like there is always one more person to see or another e-mail to return and my sermon can always use more work. So, just this week I made a big decision; I'm taking Mondays off - the whole day. I've always worked "just a few hours" on Monday mornings but one thing leads to another and I inevitably work the whole day. The only true time off I take is Friday mornings to be with Lisa. That's our "date" time together. That means that I'm not taking any personal time and I'm not getting any jobs done around the house. Not good. [Update; after more thought, I've made Monday a work day and I'm taking all of Friday off. If I don't work on Monday I'm buried by Tuesday!]
I don't say this to complain or beg sympathy or impress you with my hard work. I reveal this weakness of mine in case there are others out there doing the same thing. We've got to knock it off! We need to be asking each other the same question asked of me, "What are you doing for fun these days?" And then we have to go have some fun, even if it kills us!
It's taken a few months but I actually did something fun last night. I went skiing for the first time in about 20 years. I almost backed out at the last minute but I forced myself to go. On the first trip down I almost cried. It was so good to do something that I loved but couldn't seem to justify the time or expense. Plus I had a good time getting to know the friend who brought me. Skiing is a very relational time because you spend half the time talking on the chair lift. It was a great affirmation that I was doing the right thing. And I believe it will ultimately add excellence to my work because I will be more balanced in life and refreshed.
So, do me a favor, stop me every now and then and ask me what I'm doing for fun!
My answer has haunted me ever since. I should be able to make time for fun but it seems like there is always one more person to see or another e-mail to return and my sermon can always use more work. So, just this week I made a big decision; I'm taking Mondays off - the whole day. I've always worked "just a few hours" on Monday mornings but one thing leads to another and I inevitably work the whole day. The only true time off I take is Friday mornings to be with Lisa. That's our "date" time together. That means that I'm not taking any personal time and I'm not getting any jobs done around the house. Not good. [Update; after more thought, I've made Monday a work day and I'm taking all of Friday off. If I don't work on Monday I'm buried by Tuesday!]
I don't say this to complain or beg sympathy or impress you with my hard work. I reveal this weakness of mine in case there are others out there doing the same thing. We've got to knock it off! We need to be asking each other the same question asked of me, "What are you doing for fun these days?" And then we have to go have some fun, even if it kills us!
It's taken a few months but I actually did something fun last night. I went skiing for the first time in about 20 years. I almost backed out at the last minute but I forced myself to go. On the first trip down I almost cried. It was so good to do something that I loved but couldn't seem to justify the time or expense. Plus I had a good time getting to know the friend who brought me. Skiing is a very relational time because you spend half the time talking on the chair lift. It was a great affirmation that I was doing the right thing. And I believe it will ultimately add excellence to my work because I will be more balanced in life and refreshed.
So, do me a favor, stop me every now and then and ask me what I'm doing for fun!
Monday, February 21, 2005
Wrestling with Sexuality
After my message yesterday someone came to me and said that they didn't think they saw sex rightly. I could tell that they were struggling with understanding what was right, what was wrong and why they didn't seem to see/feel things like others. As I thought through their struggle I guessed that they must be wrestling with five questions...
- Is there something wrong with me that I have these desires?
- Did something happen to me that I have these desires?
- Was I born with these desires?
- Did I unknowingly choose these desires over time?
- Is there really nothing wrong with me - I'm normal -but other closed minded people are trying to make me feel bad about my desires?
The person that I was speaking with was heterosexual but my guess is that these are the same questions that the homosexual person asks as well. I think these are good questions - normal questions that people should be asking.
Now, expand these questions to include things other than sex - to emotions like anger or fear or depression. Just replace the word "desires" with "emotions". Many people ask these same questions. These are life questions. There is something wrong with us - all of us -and we need to find how to find wholeness in Christ. That's our job as a church community - not to point fingers and judge but to come along side each other and see how we can help provide the answers that will lead to wholeness.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Hearing God in Community
When I started my "Let's Get Personal" series I said that I was "starting a dialogue" - meaning that my words weren't meant to be the final word but the start of a discussion. I knew my words would make some uncomfortable and I wanted to hear back from them to either sharpen or dull what I had said.
This last week proved to be a great discussion following my sermon on divorce and remarriage. People's questions, objections and comments all helped me to expand my understanding and consider other Bible verses that applied. I kept adding to the manuscript of my sermon and reposting it on the website because I felt my message would be incomplete without the updates.
As I thought about what happened, I was pleased to see the evolution of God's word to us as a community. I think that's how it works. Too often we like to say "this is what God says - period." But as everyone adds their reaction, insight and life experience, the Word takes shape. It becomes alive and is able to strike deeper into our spirits because it's become more than information. It's a work of God's Spirit in, through and to his people.
This last week proved to be a great discussion following my sermon on divorce and remarriage. People's questions, objections and comments all helped me to expand my understanding and consider other Bible verses that applied. I kept adding to the manuscript of my sermon and reposting it on the website because I felt my message would be incomplete without the updates.
As I thought about what happened, I was pleased to see the evolution of God's word to us as a community. I think that's how it works. Too often we like to say "this is what God says - period." But as everyone adds their reaction, insight and life experience, the Word takes shape. It becomes alive and is able to strike deeper into our spirits because it's become more than information. It's a work of God's Spirit in, through and to his people.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Holiness & Grace
I'm a holiness preacher at heart. A holiness preacher...according to my definition...calls people to obey God at all costs - even to their own detriment. I'm also a grace preacher. I believe that when we fail to obey God he is always there to accept us, cleanse us, lift us up and send us back on our way. In my mind, there's no conflict. These two attributes of God work like 'hand in glove'. But I'm afraid many people don't appreciate this balance. I'm afraid that obedience is seen as harsh and unreasonable. Doesn't God want me to be happy? Why can't he simply forgive me? Why does he ask me to change? Doesn't he know my situation - how hard it is - how impossible obedience is? Can't he understand and just let it go?
Our greatest happiness comes when we are walking in sync with God. Jesus called this "abiding". He said "If you abide in Me I will abide in you." Paul called it "walking after the Spirit". When we honor God through our obedience we are ultimately honoring ourselves. We are treating ourselves with the most respect and dignity. It's just one of the many paradoxes of the Kingdom of God. But when we seek to please ourselves we ultimately undermine our happiness because any life with "self" at the center will lead to futility, despair and ultimately destruction.
As I turn the corner on my series "Let's Get Personal" - the issues at hand get very hard. When confronted with what the Bible/Jesus says about money, divorce and sex the call to obedience often requires great sacrifice - a great forsaking of personal agendas. It requires "standing naked" with your sin and weakness and seeing your failures for what they are. It requires owning them- yet receiving God's love/forgiveness and choosing to obey again in spite of your mistakes. This is the essence of worship.
That's why I wanted to "get personal". I wanted people to see that following Jesus isn't about singing cool songs and feeling warm and fuzzy. It means choosing God's way in the face of the screams of both the world and their own desires. It means walking away from the crowd and being willing to stand alone. I hope you are one who is willing to recklessly pursue God no matter what the personal cost.
Our greatest happiness comes when we are walking in sync with God. Jesus called this "abiding". He said "If you abide in Me I will abide in you." Paul called it "walking after the Spirit". When we honor God through our obedience we are ultimately honoring ourselves. We are treating ourselves with the most respect and dignity. It's just one of the many paradoxes of the Kingdom of God. But when we seek to please ourselves we ultimately undermine our happiness because any life with "self" at the center will lead to futility, despair and ultimately destruction.
As I turn the corner on my series "Let's Get Personal" - the issues at hand get very hard. When confronted with what the Bible/Jesus says about money, divorce and sex the call to obedience often requires great sacrifice - a great forsaking of personal agendas. It requires "standing naked" with your sin and weakness and seeing your failures for what they are. It requires owning them- yet receiving God's love/forgiveness and choosing to obey again in spite of your mistakes. This is the essence of worship.
That's why I wanted to "get personal". I wanted people to see that following Jesus isn't about singing cool songs and feeling warm and fuzzy. It means choosing God's way in the face of the screams of both the world and their own desires. It means walking away from the crowd and being willing to stand alone. I hope you are one who is willing to recklessly pursue God no matter what the personal cost.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Divorce & Remarriage Revisited
After my message on Sunday I had a few people wish that I had answered a fourth question: "What if I divorced and remarried and I realize now that I did it poorly?" The implied question there is..."Am I doomed by God to live a miserable life?" And/or..."Does God consider me an adulterer from here on out?" Those are pretty serious questions that deserve an answer.
I can't imagine living with the thought that God saw me as an adulterer and there was no recourse. So let me give this a shot.
First of all, let me say that Jesus' words about divorce and remarriage leave little "wiggle room". To NOT be considered an adulterer requires either rejecting his words or observing in scripture how we might be able to resolve being an adulterer. But, unless someone broke covenant with you, you have to own the adultery part.
Now, as bad as that is, who hasn't failed God? And specifically relating to marriage...who hasn't WANTED to break covenant with their spouse? It's admirable that people don't follow through on their desires (and not divorce) but no one is perfect. And like any sin, there is forgiveness, there is reparation and restoration. God always offers us a fresh start but there may be some conditions attached and some consequences that follow.
If you find yourself in this scenario, I recommend a few things. First, admit the adultery. Own it. You can't find forgiveness if you don't admit the guilt. And not just the overall guilt but the specific things you did wrong, the specific character flaws that led you to divorce and remarry in the manner that you did (maybe selfishness, pride, impatience, bitterness, etc.).
Second, ask and receive God's forgiveness. All sin is forgiveable if you are truly sorry and willing to forsake it. This is how you can put the adultery in the past. Next, ask forgiveness of those you hurt; your ex-spouse, your children, your friends, maybe even your current spouse if you realize that you entered into the marriage inappropriately. That doesn't invalidate your current marriage but clearing the air of past wrongs will help the future of your marriage.
Finally, make any amends that are outstanding. You need to bring closure. Leaving issues unresolved only causes personal and relational discord - not only with people but with God. As hard as these things may seem to do, not doing them will only cause you inner turmoil. Doing them will bring you the freedom you have been looking for.
Sixty percent of remarriages end in divorce. That tells me that there is a flaw in the whole divorce/remarriage scenario. Many reasons could be pointed out but I think a very big flaw is that people fail to do what I've outlined here - bringing closure to past wrongs. Marriage is hard enough when things go well. When you bring all kinds of baggage from a previously failed marriage into a new one, it's a wonder any work at all. I welcome your feedback.
I can't imagine living with the thought that God saw me as an adulterer and there was no recourse. So let me give this a shot.
First of all, let me say that Jesus' words about divorce and remarriage leave little "wiggle room". To NOT be considered an adulterer requires either rejecting his words or observing in scripture how we might be able to resolve being an adulterer. But, unless someone broke covenant with you, you have to own the adultery part.
Now, as bad as that is, who hasn't failed God? And specifically relating to marriage...who hasn't WANTED to break covenant with their spouse? It's admirable that people don't follow through on their desires (and not divorce) but no one is perfect. And like any sin, there is forgiveness, there is reparation and restoration. God always offers us a fresh start but there may be some conditions attached and some consequences that follow.
If you find yourself in this scenario, I recommend a few things. First, admit the adultery. Own it. You can't find forgiveness if you don't admit the guilt. And not just the overall guilt but the specific things you did wrong, the specific character flaws that led you to divorce and remarry in the manner that you did (maybe selfishness, pride, impatience, bitterness, etc.).
Second, ask and receive God's forgiveness. All sin is forgiveable if you are truly sorry and willing to forsake it. This is how you can put the adultery in the past. Next, ask forgiveness of those you hurt; your ex-spouse, your children, your friends, maybe even your current spouse if you realize that you entered into the marriage inappropriately. That doesn't invalidate your current marriage but clearing the air of past wrongs will help the future of your marriage.
Finally, make any amends that are outstanding. You need to bring closure. Leaving issues unresolved only causes personal and relational discord - not only with people but with God. As hard as these things may seem to do, not doing them will only cause you inner turmoil. Doing them will bring you the freedom you have been looking for.
Sixty percent of remarriages end in divorce. That tells me that there is a flaw in the whole divorce/remarriage scenario. Many reasons could be pointed out but I think a very big flaw is that people fail to do what I've outlined here - bringing closure to past wrongs. Marriage is hard enough when things go well. When you bring all kinds of baggage from a previously failed marriage into a new one, it's a wonder any work at all. I welcome your feedback.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Sexuality & Promiscuity
When we changed websites I stopped blogging. But after hearing from another pastor how many people read his blog, I thought it was time to begin again. This blog gives me the chance to share more personal thoughts and more in-depth than I can on Sundays.
I read an article yesterday called "Losing Your Promiscuity" in preparation for my message this Sunday. It really troubled me. The author was a counselor and wrote about the young people that he sees that have such distorted views of sex. The typical person is actively very young and very often with different partners. He described it as being as intimate a refueling a plane. Then as these same people go into marriage, sex has lost its power. Instead of being the consummation of love at marriage it is merely a well used add on feature.
I couldn't help but grieve for the loss that these young people are experiencing. But the truly sad thing is that they aren't even aware of the loss because they never appreciated what they had in the first place. I'm frustrated already at the thought of having only 30 minutes on Sunday to try to counter such deeply embedded thoughts in our culture.
God's call to sex within marriage isn't prudish. We keep valuable jewels in a bank vault for a reason - only bringing them out at special times for the select few to see. That's what keeps them valuable. When you start showing them on street corners with no security, those same jewels become common and even boring.
We live in a culture that has lost an understanding of intimacy. I pray that we can find it back. Read the full article at http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2000/008/1.32.html
I read an article yesterday called "Losing Your Promiscuity" in preparation for my message this Sunday. It really troubled me. The author was a counselor and wrote about the young people that he sees that have such distorted views of sex. The typical person is actively very young and very often with different partners. He described it as being as intimate a refueling a plane. Then as these same people go into marriage, sex has lost its power. Instead of being the consummation of love at marriage it is merely a well used add on feature.
I couldn't help but grieve for the loss that these young people are experiencing. But the truly sad thing is that they aren't even aware of the loss because they never appreciated what they had in the first place. I'm frustrated already at the thought of having only 30 minutes on Sunday to try to counter such deeply embedded thoughts in our culture.
God's call to sex within marriage isn't prudish. We keep valuable jewels in a bank vault for a reason - only bringing them out at special times for the select few to see. That's what keeps them valuable. When you start showing them on street corners with no security, those same jewels become common and even boring.
We live in a culture that has lost an understanding of intimacy. I pray that we can find it back. Read the full article at http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2000/008/1.32.html
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
A Letter to the Editor on Moral Absolutes
Editor;
It was interesting to read your words about the recent school board meeting (7/18/04, Dunn County News) regarding the Gay/Straight Alliance meeting in the high school. You started by saying “A wonderful thing happened Monday night” then ended by saying that you “tipped your hat” to the participants for making Menomonie proud. But in the editorial below yours, Mr. Hoffman saw visions of the Salem Witch Trials at that same meeting. Isn’t it amazing how two people can see things so differently?
I was at the meeting as well. I didn’t agree with everything said (from either side), but I was pleased to see the open discussion, emotion and all. Emotion often comes with deep convictions. I don't think that's something people need to be ashamed of showing.
Our society is going through a tremendous cultural shift. For centuries, (right or wrong) our legal system has used the Judeo-Christian Ten Commandments as the basis for moral law. It’s provided an absolute in decision making. But today, our culture is heavily questioning that assumption. They have the right to do that. But those who choose to cling to the idea of an absolute should not be labeled as “flat world” believers (as stated in lead article quote 7/14/04). To release ourselves from moral absolutes is not equivalent to making progress in the 21st century as Mr. Hoffman implies in his letter. Science and Religion are not mutually exclusive.
In fact, science is simply the study of what exists. And science has discovered many absolutes that exist; the speed of sound, the speed of light, the force of gravity, and 2+ 2 = 4, every time.
Is it so odd to think that there might be moral absolutes as well as physical absolutes? Every time I board a plane I’m grateful for the physical absolutes that the plane was engineered for and that the pilots incorporate into their flying knowledge. Without their in-depth knowledge of those absolutes, I don’t think I’d want to be flying. (Without physical absolutes, the plane could not have been built in the first place.) Is it too much of a stretch to think that there might be moral absolutes as well? And is it too much of a stretch to think that the breaking of moral absolutes will bring the same level of catastrophe that a plane would experience if it ignored the physical law? Do we really want to risk finding out?
Or is everything relative? Will we some day decide that parents can divorce each other and wed their children or sisters wed each other? That is not too far fetched if we really believe the statement from the other letter to the editor July 18. The writer said that, “What people want to do with their lives is their choice, not anyone else.” Our judicial system tells us that that’s not true. Our judicial system revolves around moral law being enforced not ignored.
It seems that there will be an increasing divide over this issue of absolutes. If we are ever to get “the human relations part” (that Mr. Hoffman regrets we lack) we are going to have to learn how to talk about it without labeling either side as archaic thinkers or Witch-hunters. It’s been said that once you label someone you can then discount them entirely. I hope we can rise above that and eagerly listen to and respect each other. If we can do this, we’ll contine to “do Menomonie proud.”
It was interesting to read your words about the recent school board meeting (7/18/04, Dunn County News) regarding the Gay/Straight Alliance meeting in the high school. You started by saying “A wonderful thing happened Monday night” then ended by saying that you “tipped your hat” to the participants for making Menomonie proud. But in the editorial below yours, Mr. Hoffman saw visions of the Salem Witch Trials at that same meeting. Isn’t it amazing how two people can see things so differently?
I was at the meeting as well. I didn’t agree with everything said (from either side), but I was pleased to see the open discussion, emotion and all. Emotion often comes with deep convictions. I don't think that's something people need to be ashamed of showing.
Our society is going through a tremendous cultural shift. For centuries, (right or wrong) our legal system has used the Judeo-Christian Ten Commandments as the basis for moral law. It’s provided an absolute in decision making. But today, our culture is heavily questioning that assumption. They have the right to do that. But those who choose to cling to the idea of an absolute should not be labeled as “flat world” believers (as stated in lead article quote 7/14/04). To release ourselves from moral absolutes is not equivalent to making progress in the 21st century as Mr. Hoffman implies in his letter. Science and Religion are not mutually exclusive.
In fact, science is simply the study of what exists. And science has discovered many absolutes that exist; the speed of sound, the speed of light, the force of gravity, and 2+ 2 = 4, every time.
Is it so odd to think that there might be moral absolutes as well as physical absolutes? Every time I board a plane I’m grateful for the physical absolutes that the plane was engineered for and that the pilots incorporate into their flying knowledge. Without their in-depth knowledge of those absolutes, I don’t think I’d want to be flying. (Without physical absolutes, the plane could not have been built in the first place.) Is it too much of a stretch to think that there might be moral absolutes as well? And is it too much of a stretch to think that the breaking of moral absolutes will bring the same level of catastrophe that a plane would experience if it ignored the physical law? Do we really want to risk finding out?
Or is everything relative? Will we some day decide that parents can divorce each other and wed their children or sisters wed each other? That is not too far fetched if we really believe the statement from the other letter to the editor July 18. The writer said that, “What people want to do with their lives is their choice, not anyone else.” Our judicial system tells us that that’s not true. Our judicial system revolves around moral law being enforced not ignored.
It seems that there will be an increasing divide over this issue of absolutes. If we are ever to get “the human relations part” (that Mr. Hoffman regrets we lack) we are going to have to learn how to talk about it without labeling either side as archaic thinkers or Witch-hunters. It’s been said that once you label someone you can then discount them entirely. I hope we can rise above that and eagerly listen to and respect each other. If we can do this, we’ll contine to “do Menomonie proud.”
Friday, April 23, 2004
Thoughts on suicide
With the death of a local teen, the question comes about suicide and salvation. People often wonder if suicide automatically condemns the victim. The answer involves more than I have time to write (or you read!) but it's an important question. How we answer that question shows a lot about our concept of God.
First of all, the thought that suicide victims automatically go to hell is not in the Bible.
Second, that thought separates suicide as an unforgiveable sin. Nothing is unforgiveable. Third, some believe that suicide is damning because you didn't have time to repent before you died. Well, who dies having repented of all their sin? It would be a rare case that someone would have just remembered every offense, repented of every offense and asked forgiveness from God and then laid down and died. Highly improbable.
Unfortunately, many people live through life feeling cursed because they either contemplated suicide or even attempted it. They don't need to hear that they are damned. They need to hear that God is close to the broken hearted. That IS in the Bible. God has compassion on these hopeless people.
Plus, there are the family members who live with the pain of a loved one who committed suicide - thinking that they are in hell for their action. If the person who committed suicide was a believer/follower of Jesus, we can be confident that they are with the Lord. If we aren't sure, then we shouldn't make any judgments. We really don't know.
First of all, the thought that suicide victims automatically go to hell is not in the Bible.
Second, that thought separates suicide as an unforgiveable sin. Nothing is unforgiveable. Third, some believe that suicide is damning because you didn't have time to repent before you died. Well, who dies having repented of all their sin? It would be a rare case that someone would have just remembered every offense, repented of every offense and asked forgiveness from God and then laid down and died. Highly improbable.
Unfortunately, many people live through life feeling cursed because they either contemplated suicide or even attempted it. They don't need to hear that they are damned. They need to hear that God is close to the broken hearted. That IS in the Bible. God has compassion on these hopeless people.
Plus, there are the family members who live with the pain of a loved one who committed suicide - thinking that they are in hell for their action. If the person who committed suicide was a believer/follower of Jesus, we can be confident that they are with the Lord. If we aren't sure, then we shouldn't make any judgments. We really don't know.
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