TIME magazine has an interesting article about Jane Fonda this past week. It's always interesting to me to see the common thread in everyone's life. The "verses" may be different in our lives but the song is the same. We all need to be affirmed and when we aren't, we malfunction.
Fonda said that she had "the disease to please" her father and every man in her life. Like a chameleon she became whatever she thought these men wanted her to become. When she failed at pleasing them she turned to an eating disorder to satisfy her insecurity - provoking a 30 year struggle with bulimia.
Yesterday I spoke in church about the three types of boundary disorders that people have. Either we enter people's space without their permission (The Space Invader) - we keep people out who should be in our space (The Wall) or we allow people into our space who shouldn't be there (The Sieve). ( You can download this here.)
Every one of us has a tendency to do at least one of these and they can all be boiled down to our insecurity and need to be affirmed. But if we were content in ourselves and confident of our value, we wouldn't have the need to do any of the above. And Jane Fonda wouldn't have had to live her life of pain either.
Is it too simple to think that we can find our sense of worth/value in God? It makes a lot of sense. If God says that we are valuable (not perfect, but valuable) then I don't have to jump through hoops to prove myself and win your approval. Just like the government determines the worth of the paper in our wallet, not me, God determines my value. Once I can grasp that then my performance in life flows out of my confidence rather than my fear of rejection.
The fact is - God has stated that we are valuable...so valuable that he manifested himself as a person (Jesus) and died for us. There is no stronger statement of our worth than that.
If you struggle in life finding acceptance and worth I want to point you to God - specifically Jesus. Ask him to reveal your worth to you from His perspective. If God says you are valuable, it really doesn't matter what you feel or others say. Let that truth permeate your being. Then take a deep breath and enjoy your life!