Part of me is just tired! We've been at this for so long. I'm looking forward to getting back to life as normal. But that's just the whiner in me.
Part of me is afraid. I'm afraid that we'll have more people come than we can welcome well. So much of who we are is relational. I don't want people to feel like just another person in a mass of people. I want people to feel like they matter to us and God when they walk through our doors. Right now I'm not so sure that's what people are feeling. But what REALLY encourages me is all the people pitching in to help make Cedarbrook welcoming. We've got people volunteering to manage our facility and people volunteering to clean and people volunteering for the Welcome Team and people who just up and do what needs to be done...like taking on the job of bringing in gravel to create 40 more parking spots. How cool is that!
Part of me is excited. I've already seen so many new people checking out Cedarbrook. It gives me a glimpse of all the new life change that is about to take place as people start to experience God and community in new ways. And that's what we all about...life change. So that's what keeps me going.
Part of me feels displaced. I'm just not used to nice things. We've been pioneering for so long. I feel like I'm in someone else's building and someone will come and say, "Okay, Remy, your time is up. It was fun to dream but now you have to go back to reality." It will take time for the new building to feel "normal".
And a big part of me is overwhelmed with thanksgiving. I have to just stop every so often and pinch myself to reflect on what God has done. I saw a picture the other day of our "nursery" back at the theater. What a joke! We created a wall of gates, boxes and garbage cans to keep the kids from running around. We've come so far so fast. How can you not see the hand of God in all of this????
So...I'm a basket case, huh! I've heard that others are struggling with a mixture of emotions as well. It's all a part of the transition that I warned us about two months ago. It will pass and good things will come through all of this. Thanks for being a part of it all.
I hope you'll go out of your way to welcome our guests in the coming weeks!