Reflections on THE FIGHT

I just got back from THE FIGHT event, featuring Craig Groeschel, at Cedarbrook. It was a special event for men promoting his new book about Samson. I thought it was good and a lot of guys were challenged in very positive ways. 

But I need to be honest, I had a cringe factor listening to Craig. Craig is a "mans man" kind of guy. I think he plays that card a lot to relate to men. That's fine. It's not my style, but it's an okay approach.

But a common practice with Craig and others' like him is to make fun of women to get a laugh and bond with men. Quick example, the book of Judges talks about how Delilah nagged Samson until he gave in. Insert joke here. You could see that coming for miles. But it only reinforces a negative stereotype of women that subtly gives men the right to ignore women rather than pursue a constructive conversation with them. If he wants us to FIGHT, call us to FIGHT for that. He blew an opportunity in my mind.

Real men, godly men, are sensitive to others. Real men, godly men, honor all people and don't take cheap shots. It merely undermines their integrity, but they don't always realize it because it got them a short term reward (a laugh). 

I feel a strong responsibility to make sure Cedarbrookers follow Jesus in EVERY way. I'm really grateful for Craig Groeschel's heart to challenge men.  He's clearly reached a lot of people. I don't want to take anything away from him. But if he is going to challenge men to step up and radically follow Jesus, then I think he should offer the full challenge. Challenge men to respect everyone and not play the "macho" card to excuse themselves from being sensitive to both people and important issues.

Men, we can do better. A lot of women have thanked me for posting similar thoughts on Facebook. But I'd love for just as many men to thank me too. We should all be concerned about giving dignity to everyone.

Coincidently, I came across a blog post of a man who attended a men's conference who had similar reservations. Check it out. I'm not looking to spark a debate. Just throwing it out there to get you to think. Integrity means "wholeness." Our faith should effect our whole being, not just the parts we want it to.

My Unity Manifesto

I'm taking the church through the book of Ephesians and asking the question: what is a Christian...really? 

To fully understand Paul's letter you need to understand God's mystery, that is, his desire to bring everyone and everything together in the person of Jesus. You can read or listen to my message on this today. It's a cry for unity in the church.

I closed the message with what I called my unity manifesto.  A couple people asked me to publish it separately from the message so here it is!

My Unity Manifesto:

If I’m going to call myself a Christian, and be a part of a church, then:

I want to be someone who makes every effort to unite people 

    and not divide them.

I will not divorce my wife or cut off my kids or encourage others to do the same.

I refuse to sacrifice relationships in the church over petty personal agendas.

I will not fan the flames of office politics and 

    undermine the dignity of my coworkers with secrets, gossip and slander.  

I will not diminish the integrity of the church across town 

    by criticizing their beliefs or practices.

And I refuse to bash political parties for not promoting or 

    living out my personal values. 

I won’t mock people in the news who self-destruct or minimize people 

    who have chosen to live a lifestyle that I don’t believe is biblical 

    or honors God.

I’m happy to call sin, sin. But I refuse to use God’s Word to tear people down.

The mystery of God compels me to make every effort to bring people together into God’s family.

Facing the Fear of Death

I gave my final message in the series on Facing Your Fear yesterday and addressed the fear of death. I've often thought at funerals, "I should share this stuff on Sunday!  This is too good just to keep for funerals!"

I took the message a little deeper than the typical nice thoughts about heaven. In fact, I challenged the thoughts a bit and then showed the theology behind why Jesus raising the dead was central to his message.

Two of the biggest questions I get about heaven are:  where do we go when we die? and, when do we get our resurrected body?  

Paul said that we get our resurrected body when Jesus returns and the dead are raised. He describes how we will be given "spiritual bodies" (read 1 Corinthians 15). What that is, I'm not sure. But Jesus' resurrected body looked the same as normal and he could still eat food but had the ability to go through walls. So there was definitely a difference.

What happens to those who die before Jesus returns? That was a big question in the early church too. Paul said that when we leave our body we are in the presence of the Lord. So, even without a new spiritual body, our spirit must have some form of existence in God's presence. This is the confusing part. But the Bible says nothing about a Purgatory where we wait around waiting for our number to be called!

You can download the sermon text (attached) or download it from the website.

Let's Pray for Trouble

Yesterday's message was out of the ordinary. It was a one shot message straight from my heart after about six weeks of God messing with me about the purpose of Cedarbrook. I hope you'll listen or read it.  

Here are some bonus thoughts that I didn't have time to share yesterday:

We’re in the middle of a 40 Day Prayer Challenge right now. Someone pointed out to me the prayers of the early church are much different from what we typically pray today. What we typically pray about is for God to meet our practical needs. But the early church was very poor. They were often persecuted. But they didn’t pray for money and they didn’t pray for protection. Do you know what they prayed for? Boldness to share their faith.

Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus." Acts 4:29,30

It made me think that we should pray less for God to help us get out of trouble. Maybe we should ask God to get us into trouble. What I mean is…we should ask God to send us people that are in trouble so we can help them.

• God send us broken marriages. God send us teenagers on the edge of destruction.
• God, send us people who have ruined their lives with addiction or a reckless lifestyle.
• Send us some trouble because you love people in trouble and we can help them. 

Working with troubled people is messy. But to whom much is given, much is required. 

....

After speaking my message on Sunday, people have already talked to me with excitement about their ideas to start a third service, plant a new church and a house church. It's interesting what happens when you start to ask the question: What if?

We'll be giving people the opportunity to dream a little in focus groups soon, but you can always email me and get the conversation started!

Youth/ Worship Staff Position Update

If you are wondering whatever happened to our search for a worship/youth staff person...it's still in process!  We are looking for a very specific fit for our staff. It's not as easy as you might expect.

Finding a person that is gifted both with youth AND music is not easy to come by.  Add to that someone who is a good fit culturally to our style of church (casual, upbeat, outreach oriented) AND the Midwest/rural comfort level...it gets complicated!

But God has the right person and will bring him/her to us at the right time. Like any good decision, we  have to be patient and not hire someone just to "fill a slot".  We hope to have this person with us a long time so we want the fit to be right.

I'm heading to a job fair at North Park University in Chicago this Saturday where I hope to meet potential candidates. (North Park is the school for the Evangelical Covenant Church, our denomination).

Please continue to pray that we'll find this person. Pray also for the band. Aren't they doing a great job without a staff person in place?  Let them know how much you appreciate them. Thanks.

Top Ten Problems With Living Together Outside of Marriage

I started a new sermon series yesterday yesterday looking at exposing Marriage Myths.  The first myth I tackled is the myth that living together will help reduce the odds of divorce.

But I didn't approach the topic with a Bible teaching. I figured that some people wouldn't believe the Bible but they might believe science. So my points were all gathered from recent research and testimony from people who had a bad experience living with someone.

Following are the notes. If you'd like to listen to the message or read it (along with the articles that I used in my preparation) just click the link here.

Statistics

• ·      Living together has increased by 1500% since 1960.
• ·      The majority of young adults in their 20s will live with a romantic partner at least once, and more than half of all marriages will be preceded by cohabitation.
• ·      Nearly half of people will insist on living together before risking marriage.
• ·      Two thirds believe that living together before marriage will help reduce the chance of divorce.

Why do people live together?  

1. ·      They want to spend time together.
2. ·      They want to save money.
3. ·      They hope to see if they are ready for marriage. 
4. ·      Women think it will speed up the road to marriage.
5. ·      Men think it will slow down the road to marriage.

The Top Ten problems you wish people would have told you about living together.

10.  There is less celebration if you end up getting engaged/married.

9.  Breaking up is hard to do. It can take years.

8.  Your investment may cause you to marry someone out of convenience.

7.  Men and women see it differently resulting in tension.

6.  If it doesn’t work, it will feel like a divorce with all the baggage that comes with it.

5.  Those who are “testing the waters” have a higher failure rate. 

4.  You might find a good roommate but not a soul mate.

3.  You develop poor  habits that don't serve a marriage well.

2.  It’s not really like marriage and therefore not a true test.

1.  It puts you at odds with the model God set for his people.

Join me on Sunday as I offer part two in this series. I'll be looking at the wisdom of God's plan for marriage being a life long convenant between two people.

Review: Love is an Orientation

Andrew Marin is a bold young man. Raised in a conservative evangelical church, he was shocked to have three of his best friends come out to him in college as gay, all in a matter of months. He was stunned.

His first reaction was to run. He was offended. He was confused. So he prayed and the answer he heard was to move toward his friends, not away.  He moved, literally, into Boystown in Chicago, a neighborhood predominantly made of people in the GLBT (Gay-Lesbian-Bisexual-Transgender) community to listen and learn. He spent countless hours sitting in bars, restaurants, and churches talking to GLBT members about their view of God, church, sex, and more.

He now runs the Marin foundation that seeks to serve both churches and the GLBT community by explaining each to the other. Not an easy job.

Andrew's book, Love is an Orientation, is his effort to help evangelical Christians better understand the GLBT community and, overall, I think he does a good job of it. His goal isn't to make a statement: for or against homosexuality. His goal, as he states it, is to "elevate the conversation." I think a lot of the conversation in the life of the church needs to be "elevated", so I appreciate his heart and intention.

My only hesitancy in fully endorsing his book is that I didn't like his chapters explaining the five biblical texts that mention homosexuality. He tries to represent how some people read these scriptures in a way that allows for homosexuality. But I think he misses the mark. He seems to sidestep and underplay each text. Throughout most of the book he  does a good job of walking the center line, representing both conservative and liberal views. But in this chapter I feel that he doesn't fairly represent the conservative side. Maybe he doesn't think it's necessary, that the reader is familiar with the conservative view.  But for people new to the Bible I don't think he offers a full discussion. It can be misleading.

A fair treatment of scripture will not only look at the five texts that address homosexuality but the many texts that focus on how the Bible frames heterosexuality.   If you read the book, walk gently through this section. It might help know how others think but it's not a full discussion of the issue.

But other than this concern, the book has much to offer.  The church...on MANY issues, not just homosexuality, needs to listen more. Learn more. Love more. Love Is An Orientation will help you to do that.

I know some Christians think the gay issue is black and white. In one sense I agree. From my perspective (as well as the Covenant denomination that Cedarbrook is a part of)  sex is designed as a covenant celebration between a man and a woman. I'm settled on that. But the problem comes in what people FEEL. What do you do if you are only attracted to people of the same sex, no matter how much you try to not feel that way? People answer that question in many ways. And I think, out of respect and love for people, we need to listen to what everyone says. We don't have to agree. We can respectfully agree to disagree without reacting in fear, defensiveness, or judgment. Dialogue is a good thing. It keeps the lines of communication open.

My purpose here isn't to discuss the whole gay controversy but to review Love is an Orientation. I think it will push some Christians out of their comfort zone, but I've always found that to be a great place to learn. I recommend you read it. Just don't jump to conclusions based on what you read. Let it help you think more, pray more, and love more. - Remy

The weakness of God in Newtown, CT

I'm sure some pastors threw out their planned sermon on Sunday so they could talk about the tragedy in Connecticut. I didn't have to. My sermon happened to be about the question that many are asking right now: Where was God? If God is all-loving and all-powerful, then why doesn't he prevent tragedy from happening?

People asked the apostle Paul the same thing. My message takes an indepth look at the mystery of weakness and why God chooses to work with the weak and often reveal himself in weakness. DOWNLOAD Sunday's sermon here.

The Comparison Factor

One point I don't think I'll be getting to about weakness is the comparison factor. We often obsess about our weaknesses and God's "weakness" (the fact that he doesn't do WHAT we want WHEN we want it). But do you realize that weakness is something that results from comparison?

What I mean is...if you were the only person on earth would you still feel bad about your weaknesses?  Would you even call them a weakness? Or do you label something weak in comparison to someone else?

For example, I used to think that bench pressing 100 pounds was good until I went to the gym and saw other people pressing much more. I guess I must be weak.

We do the same with God. We might be happy to know that God is with us in the death of a loved one until we see our friends loved one healed. Then we say, Wait a minute God, what's up with that? Why are you weak to me and strong to my friend?

It's something to consider. How about this: what if you stop judging things as "weak" or "strong" for the next week and see if that helps. Don't make a judgment statement. Just accept things as they are and see how that changes things for you.

I hope it's a good week for you!  

Remy

Announcing Winter CBYOU Classes

Updated on 12/31/12.

Seventy people completed our survey for Cedarbrook YOUniversity, which REALLY helped know which classes to offer.  Here are the top eight categories of classes that people want offered:

1. New Testament
2. Marriage Enrichment
3. Prayer and Devotional Practices
4. How to Share Your Faith
5. Discovering Your Gifts and Strengths
6. God and Science
7. Financial Advice
8. Leadership Development

Based on this feedback, we will be offering classes on these eight areas in Winter and Spring terms.  Here is what we have slated for Winter term (Starts Tuesday, January 29nd).

1. Leading From the Inside Out … Developing Self-Leadership. (Dave Johnson) Everyone is  leader ... whether in your home, at work, in church on a team, or in a friendship ... at some time or another, we all lead something.   But, at the core of our leadership is "A Leader of One" ... ourselves!  In this course we will explore what it means to lead ourselves effectively using some tried and tested Biblical principles.  Included will be a look at a variety of very easy-to-learn models which will help us build a strong leadership foundation in our lives.  Building on this foundation, our goal is to come away from this course with a practical "Personal Leadership Development Plan" that will serve to guide our leadership opportunities in every avenue of life.

2. Parables: The Stories Jesus Told.  (Beverley Deyo-Svendsen and Bob Horan) Jesus didn’t lecture.  He taught by how he lived.  When he needed to teach using words, he told stories.  His stories were often funny, shocking, comforting and sometimes offensive.  This six-week small group will get together and reread some of Jesus’ parables.  We’ll discuss the historical, political contexts.  We may even argue over their ancient meaning and contemporary applications.  We will wrestle with parables of Judgment and grapple with tales of Grace.BYOB (Bring your own Bible) – no textbooks will be required.

3. Discover Your Gifts and Strengths. (Remy Diederich). The Bible teaches that God gifts every believer with certain natural talents as well as spiritual gifts. Do you know what yours are? When you discover these gifts and talents you will find your "sweetspot", that area of life where you get maximum return (joy and satisfaction) on your investment. You'll leave this class with greater self awareness and ability to make an impact in every aspect of your life.

4. Financial Peace University with Dave Ramsey. (Facilitated by Jon Kroening and Mary Blanchard). Dave Ramsey is a leading expert on personal finances. This class will help you whether you are just starting out in life, upside down in your finances, or planning for retirement. Nine week class. Additional $89 fee for Ramsey's special curriculum. Read success stories from participants here.

5. Love & Respect Building Blocks. With video excerpts and study guide this course helps couples to go deeper into the life changing principles of Love and Respect. Anchored in scientific and biblical research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah bring the Love and Respect strategies to audiences around the country. This course will explore how to resolve conflict, deal with the negative reactions, motivate each other by meeting each other's need, and gain an understanding on how to handle an indifferent or unresponsive partner.(Facilitated by Byron and Sarah Anderson). Registration $10 + study guide $10 = $20.  Read more about it here.

We hope to offer classes on prayer, God & Science, and How to Share Your Faith in the Spring term in addition to other classes.

Classes Start January 29 and go from 7:00 - 8:30 p.m. All classes have a $10 registration fee. Some books are required depending on the class. Register early. Class size must be at least 8 people but not more than 15.  Online registration is now open.

Don't be part of the 98%

Every business needs to advertise. But what about churches. Should Cedarbrook advertise?

I read some research once that was shocking. They compared print, radio, television, and personal invitations to the cost invested. There was no comparison. 

The most effective way, BY FAR, was personal invitation...like 90% effective. And it's free!  The other methods were very poor in attracting people to church.

Because of that, Cedarbrook rarely advertises. I don't have anything against it. There are times when it might be appropriate (like creating general awareness that we exist). But in general it doesn't bring a very high return on investment.

But here's the bad news...even though personal invitations are free, few people invite their friends to church. Here's what one marketing expert reported:

82% of the unchurched are somewhat likely to attend church if invited. ...Unfortunately, only 2% of church going people ever invite someone to church in a given year. To make matters worse, 70% of unchurched people have never been invited to church in their whole lives. 

Are you part of the 2% or the other 98%?

There are two times of the year when most people will accept an invitation to church: Christmas and Easter. I hope you will walk across the room to invite that co-worker or schoolmate. My guess is they'll say yes. It could change their life!

We'll be passing out invitation cards this Sunday. Be thinking who you might give one to. Thanks.

Free Advent Calendar

Some families like to use an Advent Calendar to keep their mind on the coming of Jesus throughout the month of December.  

I came across a calendar that you can download for free and print off on your computer. Or you can take it to a print shop and have it made as well. 

You can even purchase it if you don't want to do the work, but of course, you'll have to wait few days for it.

Download Advent Calendar here.

Enjoy!

New Books for December

Our Cedarbooks Department is always bringing in new books to keep us updated with the latest books to help build your faith.  Here is what's new this month:

• Anticipate, An Advent Experience ~ $8:00
• NIV, The Quest Study Bible ~ $25.00 Adult, hardcover
• Multiply by Francis Chan ~ $10.00
• What on Earth Am I Here For? by Rick Warren ~ $15.00
• Greater by Steven Furtick ~ $12.00

The featured book is Who Is This Man? by John Ortberg ~ $15.00.  I'll be drawing some material from this book for my Advent sermon series: The Weakness of God. Ortberg looks at the impact that Jesus has made throughout the centuries on a variety of areas from science to education..

Getting Into the Bible

I've really dropped the ball on this blog. Sorry about that.  The best way to keep up on Cedarbrook happenings is through our weekly newsletter but not everyone gets that. I'd like to use this space to expand on some thoughts about Cedarbrook. I just need to get back into the habit.

Today I want to talk about a new Bible study I just started on Monday nights. It came about in response to all the people that recommitted their life to Christ after the Nick Hall meetings recently.  

Pastor Kyle and I offered a one-night "Jump Start Your Faith" meeting to give people ideas how to rekindle their faith. The main thing we recommended was to get into studying the Bible with other people. To help make that happen I offered to lead a four week study on the book of Philippians.

I just got home from our second meeting. I love it. I don't teach. I just ask a lot of questions as we read through one chapter a night.  I call it an "old fashion" Bible study because that's all we do...no personal checkins. Just straight reading and discussing the Bible.

We have two weeks left if you want to join in. But call me or email me first so I know you are coming. We meet from 7-8:30pm.

Here's a brief recap of what we've learned:

Paul is writing to the Philippian church from jail. He thinks he might die but not sure. But he's concerned for the Philippians. They are suffering for their faith and the church is falling apart. They are being selfish and arguing with each other instead of pulling together to help one another. They seem to think they can't make it spiritually without Paul's presence.  He tells them that they don't need him, they need God. It's God who began a good work in them. He is able to finish it.

Paul call's on them to live out their salvation in a manner that's worthy of Christ. He repeats a song that was probably sung in worship about how Jesus emptied himself divinity to come into the world as a servant to die for us. He calls on the people to humble themselves in the same way so unbelievers see their good works and give God the credit. He says he's willing to die on their behalf if they lived out their faith in this way.

I love seeing how the reading the Bible transforms people. We are offering Bible classes three times a year in Cedarbrook YOUniverstity (CBYOU) and I hope to offer other Bible studies in addition whenever possible. Email me if you want to know about future studies or even get in on this one yet.

New Job Postings at Cedarbrook

This is just a quick note to let you know that Cedarbrook has three job postings right now.

• Interim Worship Leader (part time)
• Worship and Youth Director (full time)
• Office Manager (.7 time)

We will also have a custodial position coming up in the near future.  You can download the job descriptions from our recent newsletter. 

Let us know if you have any questions. We all look forward to see who God adds to our staff.

Introducing Cedarbrook YOUniversity...

I'm excited to announce Cedarbrook YOUniversity. It will launch on Tuesday, October 2nd.

Cedarbrook YOUniversity is a new intimate "school" to help Cedarbrookers grow spiritually in four areas:

1. Growth - cultivates personal and spiritual strengths.
2. Bible - builds biblical understanding and relevance.
3. Community - provides support while addressing life’s ups and downs.
4. Stages -    guidance and encouragement across various life stages.

The classes scheduled to represent these four areas this fall are:

• Starting Point - a two semester class that explores the Bible and faith for the spiritual beginner.
• How to Study Your Bible - an introductory class for people who don't want the  Bible to be a stranger.
• Healing the Hurts of Your Past - a book study on pastor Remy's book.
• Griefshare - a two semester class helping people process their grief.
• Guardrails - a class that helps you put up guardrails to guard your marriage and other relationships in life.

Classes will last six weeks and are limited to fifteen people to help facilitate discussion and develop a sense of community.  There will be three semesters and the summer will have no classes. Cost is  $10 per class covering administration costs and basic materials. Any books are additional.

We will be publishing a brochure in September to register. Spread the word!

Celebrating Family

My mom, sister and brother-in-law
getting in to the RV to head west.

In case you haven't been around, neither have I!  I was gone for two whole weeks, longer than I've ever been away from Cedarbrook. I have always worked to only miss one Sunday at a time but I had a special situation. My mom held one last reunion  (she's 93 and aging rapidly) the week of July 4th. Following that I helped move her from Tampa to Phoenix in a RV. Both events were once in a life time events.

Both events were very meaningful to me. My family has always been separated by distance. My siblings moved to different states and I've never gotten to know their children well. I've always regretted that but the reunion really helped get us all caught up. As I get older I'd really like to be more connected to them, not less.

Moving my mom proved to be more than we bargained for. There's really no easy way to move a frail 93 year old woman cross country. We chose the RV thinking it would be less stress than a plane ride. But when we hit Santa Fe (7000 feet) her breathing got very labored and we had to take her to the Emergency Room. The rest of the trip was more like a survival mission with two more stops at ER's in other towns. But we finally got her to her new home where she is trying to get her strength back.

The whole trip made me thankful for many reasons. We moved her because my siblings and I are committed to mom ending her days with dignity and her Florida assisted living home wasn't providing that. Working with my siblings to make this happen was rewarding. I'm proud of our hard work on this. We moved her to a very small (ten person) home that looks more like a bed and breakfast than a care facility. It made me thankful to my dad (deceased) for his hard work and savings that made something like this possible. I know he'd be happy to see us doing this for mom.

What makes me especially happy is that there was a time when I thought my family would never be close. Everyone moved away and we lived separate lives. But when my dad died we decided to use some of his savings to have an annual reunion with my mom and siblings (not with all 36). Those reunions over the past twelve years have brought us together.

I mention this as a way to encourage you with your family.  It's so easy to let the relationships slip away...especially when distance is involved. But maybe you can establish some traditions that will bring you back together in meaningful ways. When life is all said and done it's really about our relationships. And family is at the top of that list.

The Prayer Trail is Up and Running (or maybe walking)

I walked our new prayer trail before the first service on Sunday. It was a beautiful morning to get alone with God. The view from the ridge is great...surprising how far you can see.

Jayne Rechtzigel gets a lesson
 from Dave Johnson

But it got me thinking about the genesis of the idea for a trail. Some people might wonder what all the interest is about in a prayer trail. You might wonder what a prayer trail even is. So let me back up and explain...

Way back before Cedarbrook was even an official church we had a small group of about eight people. We studied a book that covered seven ways that people make a connection with God. I can't remember what all the ways were...I think one was through service. One was more intellectual, like by reading. But I know that one was in creation. In fact, of the eight people in the group I think six of us said that was the primary way we connect with God.

Remy teaches himself how to  drive a bobcat
by trial and error.

I can remember saying...if that is the primary way of connecting to God for such a majority of people it's funny that churches don't capitalize on this more. And then I said...if we ever are able to buy land and build wouldn't it be nice to have a trail that people could walk to connect with God?

Everyone agreed but I'm sure it seemed like a pipe dream at the time since we hadn't even started holding services.  Fast forward ten years. We not only have a church but  we have  a building and our own brand spanking new prayer trail!  I love seeing dreams become reality!  You never know what can  happen when you Dream BIG!

This trail isn't just for Cedarbrookers. It's our gift to the community. Invite your friends. We will only allow Cedarbrookers to offer memorials (simply due to the limitation of space) but anyone can use the trail; and they don't have to pray either!  But my guess is that by the time they walk the half mile and read the signs that they will have offered a prayer after all.

Yet to come are three large crosses on the hill, seven stations signs with a scripture (for example; comfort, guidance, healing, restoration, hope, etc.), and more  landscape.  We are still working on how to manage memorials. But the idea is that Cedarbrookers can purchase a plant or tree (from our list of preapproved plants) and have it planted with a sign noting a loved one. We will publish information on this as the details are worked out.

Also, we are working on a brochure to help guide people through the prayer stations and suggest  how they might use the trail to pray.

Now...get out there and enjoy it and tell a friend!

An Open Mind is a Wonderful Thing

Note; this post is a repost from my personal blog at readingremy.com. I called it "Delete, Discredit or Diaglogue: What do you do? After posting it I thought it was a good refection of the kind of culture that I have worked at creating at Cedarbrook. I want us to be dialoguers!

I got an interesting reply back from a Facebook Page that I posted on. It was for a site that promotes mental health. It was the post about the missing piece to the shame puzzle. They strongly disagreed with my take saying that my insistence on God being at the heart of self-worth was harsh.

I wrote back and explained myself a little more but thanked them for their feedback. I told them that they could have just hit “delete” but they chose to respectfully reply with their concern. Imagine that!

I just don’t see a lot of that these days.  It seems that people are quick to delete or discredit someone. But few will engage in dialogue. That’s too bad.  I gain so much when people push back on what I say.  Ideas come quickly to me and I often become quite passionate about them. I NEED people  to  push back to take off the rough edges to what I say and bring the perspective that  I often lack.

When you read or hear a new idea it’s easy to  ”hit” DELETE, isn’t it?  You don’t like it. It doesn’t fit with your world view. Boom. It’s gone.  That might be a good idea. Deleting is a reality in our informationally overloaded world.  You just don’t have time to entertain every idea. And some ideas are just bad! It’s not worth spending any time with it.

But sometimes we should pause, listen/ read and consider a new thought.  We can get stuck in ruts. We can assume that we know all there is to know.  Maybe this new idea is God’s gift to open you to  new thinking…something that will broaden your perspective and enrich you…bring you greater perspective and balance.

Some people aren’t satisfied with hitting delete. They have to  DISCREDIT.  When they read a blog it’s like they are out for target practice. They don’t care what they shoot. They just want to shoot at something. They don’t take into consideration what the person  is really saying. They jump to conclusions and start firing. They seem to find joy in tearing others down and positioning themselves as the expert. You see this a lot in politics and religion. When I hear, see or read a tone of disrespect I turn it off.  I can’t watch shows where people are ripping into each other or read blog comments that do the same. It’s offensive. (read a Brene Brown post on people attacking her).

But DIALOGUE is a good thing. You don’t have to agree with me. In fact, I don’t want everyone agreeing with me. How boring. I only see a fraction of the truth. I bet you have something that you can add to what I’ve got to make it better.  I don’t have to be all wrong for you to be right. We can both see parts of the big picture.  Our two ideas might seem to contradict each other but not necessarily. Let’s not jump to judge. Let’s just explore each others perspective.

You don’t have to be like me, think like me, look like me, believe like me, etc. to have something valuable to share. Some of the best insights come from people totally opposite from me. Your input doesn’t offend me. It challenges me. It makes me a better person.

This post is a simple invitation to dialogue…not just with me…with everyone. Start a conversation and explore an idea without the need to label the other person’s idea as wrong. Talk until you think you’ve exhausted the idea. And then look for someone else to include in the conversation. I bet they’ll have ideas the two of you never thought about.

The Bible says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one  person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). Indeed.