Day 17: Finding God's Purpose

The place where God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. Frederick Buechner

Kerry Shook compares a GPS (global positioning system) guiding our every move to God’s desire to do the same thing. He says… “In life we need a clear signal from God so we can discover our place and position in this world. Until we discover our place, our niche, our purpose in life, we’ll always feel lost, even when surrounded by a crowd.” (page 128)

He goes onto further explain…”If we’re going to find our way through the many circumstances and choices in life, we must be willing to use three crucial resources; our Gifts, our Passions and our Struggles”.

Gifts: Ask your friends and family to tell you those areas in which your talents seem to stand out. We often minimize our strengths but those with an objective eye can see what we can’t.

Passions: God gave you these passions. Don't think that he wants to ignore them. Like the Buechner quote says above God wants to wed your deepest passion with some need in this world. Our goal should be to find that “match” made in heaven.

Struggles: These cause us to learn our limits and remind us to look to God for strength.

God wants to guide you to be his agent on earth. But you must be willing to learn from your Creator how he crafted you and how he wants to use you.

Day 16: Remember Who You Are

Today begins the third section of the book One Month to Live talking about Learning Humbly. Learning humbly begins by understanding who you are. And to do that you have to look to your Creator. He alone knows your purpose because he alone designed you.

We so often forget where we came from. We know intrinsically that God is the Source of all things but we tend to see ourselves as being separate from God. Shook quotes The Lion King to give us some insight. Mufasa speaks to his wayward son from the grave reminding him of who he is. “Remember who you are.” In so many words he reminds him that because he is the son of the king that makes HIM the king and so he needs to start living like that.

Do you remember who you are? So many of us merely “get by” in life, content to leave this world having had no impact because we think of life in terms of survival. But if you grasp who you are – God’s gifted child - you realize that whether you have 30 days to live or 30 years you can make an impact before you leave this world. You can leave a legacy. You can make a mark on this world by pouring yourself out to the benefit of others. For some it will be in big noticeable ways. For others, it will be quietly behind the scenes. But either way you’ll leave your footprint in this life.

Take time to reflect on what it means to be a child of the God of the universe. How should that impact your life today? Over the next 30 days?

Day 15: Revealing Your Heart

Kerry Shook looks to the book of John to make his point today.
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth (John 1:14).

God went out of his way to reveal his heart to us so we would understand him. In the same way, we need to open up our hearts to those we love if we want to experience a communication breakthrough. We have to risk vulnerability – exposing our heart – to the point of possible rejection.

Kerry says that one simple way to open your heart is to share your time with those you love. Love is not efficient. Love “wastes” time on those you love...simply being with them and not necessarily accomplishing any tasks or even having significant conversations.

Opening your heart also involves sharing your trouble and your needs. This kind of vulnerability exposes your humanity - your weakness - and everyone can relate to that. Sharing your need invites people into your world and says, "I'm not an island. I need you. Please share with me your strengths."

And third, opening your heart involves being honest, not holding back but sharing what’s on your mind. Too often we carefully screen and package our thoughts in ways that are safe but will never lead to intimacy in relationship.

Revealing your heart is a risk. But God will help you if you ask him to. Take time to be with those you love this week and open your heart.

Cafe Reconcile Update

Our first of two teams just returned from Center City New Orleans where they are helping to build a dormitory for a Drug Addiction facility based in Living Witness Church. Down the street is Cafe Reconcile that our crew had the benefit of sitting in on a staff meeting to learn more of what this business/ministry is all about. Read our New Orleans team blog here.

Here's a recent article about Craig Cuccia and Cafe Reconcile. And another one with even more detail about their various programs.

Why care about a small restaurant in the armpit of New Orleans? Well, I love the vision that Craig Cuccia has for restoring both a neighborhood and lives wholistically. I want Cedarbrook to help in their vision and then bring that vision back to Menomonie to do some similar things.

So, let's keep our eye on what Craig is doing down there and become his students! I'd love to see a Cafe Reconcile North!

Day 14: Be Thankful

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Now, this quote is worth the chapter alone…

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance,
Chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home,
a stranger into a friend. Melody Beattie

Kerry says that’ it’s hard to be thankful in a consumer culture that is always telling us that we need more. So we have to actively work against that temptation by developing our sense of gratitude. Gratitude has the power to change us completely. It has the ability to expand our capacity to enjoy life.

Don’t take your gratitude to the grave. It won't encourage anyone there. If you had one month to live make sure that the people who blessed your life receive your thanks and appreciation. Fire off an email or note soon and make their day!

Day 13: Sandpaper People

Kerry brings us into the workshop today and talks about negative people being like sandpaper against our skin. But he carries the analogy further by comparing them to different tools. There’s …

1. The Measuring Tape; these are people that are always showing you how you don’t measure up.
2. The Hammer; they push their agenda by being loud and demanding, even manipulative.
3. The Skill Saw; these are super blunt people whose words cut deep and leave you bleeding emotionally.
4. Vise Grips; These are people that lock on to you and suck the life out of you because they are so needy.
5. The Grinder; these are the people that have explosive personalities and feel it’s their personal responsibility to cut people down to size.
6. The Hatchet; is the person who holds on to past hurts and grudges, using them against you.
7. Putty People; are those that have no backbone. They are people pleasers who blow with the wind.

How do you respond to these people? Or, maybe a better question is; are you one or more of these people? It’s easy to criticize others but Jesus told us to not worry about the speck in our friends eye when we’ve got a 2x4 in our own (Matthew 7:1). And besides, finding perfect people shouldn’t be our goal. God wants to use imperfect people to develop character in our lives. Our goal should be to respond well – revealing the character and love of Christ – in every relationship.

Day Twelve: Fighting Well

Today Kerry has us in the boxing ring learning how to fight well because he says that most of us have no idea how to resolve conflict.

His first piece of advice is to stay in the ring and off the ropes. Too many people either run from the ring or choose to not engage in the fight by resting on the ropes. Men are especially good at this slipping into the garage or the basement or the boat, etc. to withdraw from their wife.

Kerry gives us five styles of fights:

1. The Rope-a-Dope fighter. They avoid conflict, refuse to engage, and retreat when emotions arise, avoiding conflict whenever it surfaces in a relationship.
2. The Knock-Out Artist. The people insist on winning and will do whatever it takes to conquer their opponent.
3. The Take-the-Fall fighter. They throw in the towel early looking for a false peace. But they often stuff their anger and develop severe cases of resentment.
4. The One-Two Puncher is the fighter who is committed to give and take. This style is a bit more healthy because this fighter is willing to stay in the ring an exchange blows until they establish a clear winner.
5. The Sparring Partner. This fight is not "to win" but to make both people better. No one is looking for a knock out. Both fighters see themselves as team mates.

Kerry also suggests a few ground rules for fighting;

1. Affirm your commitment to the relationship...that you are not out to hurt the person.
2. Wear a "mouthguard" - be careful that you don't use words that inflame or wound.
3. Don't attack, causing the other person to go on the defensive and shutting down.
4. Own your own feelings. Acknowledge them and seek to express them in contructive ways.
5. Don't bring up past history but focus on the present issue at hand.
6. Bring the Prince of Peace (Jesus) into the ring to make sure it's a good fight.

As you think about your last 30 days on earth what are some unresolved fights that need resolving? What are some unfair fights that you need to apologize for?

Day 11: Obstacles to Unity

Kerry Shook is obviously an action oriented man! Yesterday he had us scuba diving and today we are mountain climbing as we consider how to love completely. He says...


If we are counting the days before we left this earth, we would be looking for ways to build bridges, to bring about healing, and to enjoy our most important relationships. No one wants to leave this earth with unfinished business. We want to leave our loved ones having experienced the summit of our relationships as the result of our courage to love. (page 82)


He says that every relationship has mountains to climb to achieve unity:

1. The mountain of misunderstanding
2. The mountain of "me first" attitude
3. The mountain of mistakes and relational missteps.

To really love the people in our lives, we have to overcome these relational alps and learn to work through the mistakes and push beyond our self-interests. We have to grow in our willingness and ability to pour ourselves into those we love, motivating them to stay on the trail with us and empowering them to persevere after we're no longer with them. (page 84)

Kerry said that some of the best things we can do to overcome these mountains are the small consistent things that we do everyday...eating together, talking about the day, taking a walk together, praying together, surprising the people you love with something special, etc. Think of just one small thing you can do today for someone you love...and then do it!

Day Ten: The Depths of Forgiveness

Kerry Shook uses the analogy of scuba diving to help us consider the depths of love. He said that most of life is spent on the beach or skimming the surface. But few of us risk going deep in our relationships. But those who do are rewarded. How do you "go deep"? ..

1. By confessing your faults. So often we live in denial, hiding what others already know about us. Why not come clean by confessing your faults and asking forgiveness of the people that you've offended?
2. By forgiving those who have hurt you. Shook says that forgiveness in life is like an air tank in diving...you can't live without it.

Make a list of those closest to you. Who do you need to forgive? What do you need to confess? Come clean over these next few weeks and feel the weight lift and your relationships go deep.

Day Nine: The Price of Love

Today starts the second section of the book "One Month to Live" focusing on how to Love Completely.

Kerry Shook says that "Our investment in the people we care about is the only legacy that has the power to endure beyond our lifetime." When you think about it, Jesus invested in people, not the stock market. Not that the stock market is bad but you have to ask...where's my focus? Where's my primary investment in life? In people? My job? My finances? Or...? I hope your answer is people.

So, if you only had one month to live...who are those people that you would want to spend time with? Who would you need to apologize to or express your love to in tangible ways? What's standing in the way of that?

Kerry tells us that "Love can't be bought, but it definitely carries a price, and it's called sacrifice." Yes, expressing your love is going to cost you something...some time, maybe some money, some emotion, some pride... But as with any investment the wise investor doesn't focus on the expense but the return. The expense is always worth a healthy ROI (return on investment). Think about the return of investing in the lives of those you love and then spend freely.

Day Eight: Full Throttle

Note: If you'd like these recaps emailed to you every day please let me know.

Do you have trouble changing? Many people resist change because they feel that the sum total of their life's circumstances is insurmountable. It just takes too much energy for too long of a time to turn their ship around. So they give up before they start. Does that describe you?

God understands this problem and that's exactly why he gave us his Spirit to power our changes. He understands that left to ourselves we are powerless. But with his Spirit we can do the impossible. That's why Paul prayed for us...

I pray that you will begin to understand how incredibly great his power is to help those who believe him. It is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead. Ephesians 1:19,20

What are those areas of your life where you feel like a complete failure? Kerry Shook tells us to do three things.

1. Admit your weakness.
2. Release your guilt.
3. Receive God's strength to change.

Write out what's keeping you from each one of these steps and then meet with someone to help you start the process.

Day Seven: Pursuing Dreams

We've all got dreams but how many of us pursue them with passion? Before you die don't you want the satisfaction of knowing that you pursued your dreams?

Kerry Shook says that God has put us here for a reason and planted dreams within us so we can do our part in seeing them realized. He says that "if-onlys" and "what-ifs" will haunt us unless we know that we poured ourselves into bringing our unique dreams to life.

How can we tell if our dreams are from God and not just our own idea?

1. God's dreams won't contradict what He tells us in the Bible.
2. It will be so big that you'll know that without God you can't accomplish it.
3. It will make a difference in the lives of others and not just benefit you.

Be aware that wherever God's dream exist the devil will seek to thwart it by wounding your heart and causing you to doubt. But patience, passion and persistence will overcome these things and enable you to achieve God's dreams for your life.

What are those dreams that God has placed on your heart? How might God use you to be a blessing to others?

Day Six: Risky Business

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." Helen Keller

Kerry Shook tells us that the only way to risk finding greatness is to trust God with all the areas of your life. We tend to control every detail of our lives but in holding on so tight we actually restrict our ability to succeed. God wants us to trust him to accomplish incredible things through us that we could never achieve on our own.

Look at all that God has given you; your talent, your finances, your knowledge. How are you investing these to benefit God's kingdom on earth? (And by "God's Kingdom" I mean whatever promotes the knowledge of God or the work of God...reconciliation, hope, forgiveness, restoration, righteousness, healing, etc.) Or are you clinging to what your have for fear that if you give them away that you'll have nothing left for yourself? Are you like the person in Jesus' story who was given money by his boss but instead of investing it he buried it for safe keeping? That kind of "play-it-safe" living only gets you in trouble with the boss.

Jesus said...From everyone who has been given much much will be demanded and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much will be asked. Luke 12:48

You have been given much. What are you giving back?

Day Five: Oxygen Mask

The idea here is that on a plane, when cabin pressure is lost, you make sure you get oxygen before helping others. Makes sense. The same holds true for us in life. Before we can help others we have to make sure we are healthy ourselves. I've seen too many people try to pour themselves out to serve others, draining themselves completely out of a sense of duty, and feeling guilty about ever taking care of themselves.

This chapter challenges us to take care of ourselves in two ways;
1. Physically. The temptations are to worship our bodies and spend all our time in the gym or trash our bodies by not eating right, sleeping right, drinking too much, etc. But there is a balance.
2. Emotionally. Emotions are a good thing. The trick is to express our emotions without letting our emotions control us.

Given these two areas, what are some things you need to do to improve your physical and emotional health? How have you been ignoring them? When you bring them under control can you see how you will be better able to help others?

Day Four: Making Connection

Kerry Shook asks an interesting question on Day Four of his book: If you only had one month left before your physical body collapsed, wouldn't you want the part of you that's going to live forever to be as healthy as possible?

Good point. How's your spiritual health? It's an old question but if you were to die today...are you ready to meet God?

When you've got time to waste you might want to be religious. But with 30 days to live you need to get down to business. Your faith needs to get personal. It's easy to know a lot about God but do you know him like you know a good friend? Do you talk? Do get a sense of hearing from him? That might seem irrational but that's why Jesus came into history...to make an invisible distant God visible and approachable.

When you move from a friendship relationship to a dating relationship it starts with an invitation...would you like to go out tonight? Moving to intimacy with God starts with a simple invitation as well. Here's a simple prayer to move you in that direction;

Jesus I want to know you - not just know about you. I want a relationship not religion. So I'm inviting you to come into my life. Thank you for dying for me. Thank you for forgiving me. But I need more than forgiveness I need you in my life. Come now and fill every part of me. Help me to follow you completely. Give me eyes to see you in my life and ears to hear your voice. Help me to follow you every day and fulfill my purpose in life. Amen.

Now, once you make this connection...keep it!

Day Three: Energy Management

If you only had one month to live would you stay awake the whole time to make the most of your days? It makes sense at one level, the problem is your body won't let you. You were created for rest. You'll make the most of your time by using some of that time to sleep. You just can't keep going and going.

A recent Sixty Minutes broadcast (The Science of Sleep) shared some interesting research on sleep. They said that if you only get 4-5 hours of sleep for one night, it will impact your mental functioning the next day. The more nights you deprive yourself of sleep the greater the mental impact. On the other hand if you get a good night of sleep your memory is actually better than if you stayed up studying all night. So it pays to sleep. It pays to rest.

As you look at your habits do you factor in down time to recharge your batteries? Do make a day your sabbath? Do you get eight hours of sleep? Do you take time to visit with friends, talk to God, read, take vacations? These are the "useless" things that actually make you more productive in the long run.

To get the most out of your last 30 days be sure and rest!

Day Two: Some Day is Today

On Day One Kerry Shook asked if we were living the dashing or dashing to live. The point is that most of us are so busy that we don't have time to truly live. We convince ourselves that some day we'll do what we want...but you know how that goes...some day never comes.


I'd imagine that some people chose not to read the book (One Month to Live) or join a small group because they are "too busy". Just like we don't go out with friends or spend time with our family or spend time with God for the same reason...too busy.


But if you only had one month to live... Someday is Today! So the next time you catch yourself using the excuse... I'm too busy... stop and say... I'm busy but this is important to me. I'll make the time - which means that you will reprioritze your life and cut out some of the time wasters you do (tv, surf the net, etc.) so you can do the really important things. Sounds like a good plan to me.

Day One: Living the Dash

Today begins our One Month to Live readings. I'll write BRIEF summary reflections for each day. If you'd like this e-mailed to you each day, send me an email and let me know.

Day One: Living the Dash

The "dash" refers to the the line on a tombstone between the dates you were born and died. We have no control over those dates but we have a lot to say about the dash in between the two.

I liked the quote that began this chapter. It talks about the fear ... "that as far as the world is concerned we might as well never have lived." Harold Kushner

Ouch. He's talking about the fear that we will have no impact on this world. We only consumed during our lifetime. We offered nothing in return. Is that the legacy that you want to leave - that when people stand around your grave they say things like "What a wasted life. He/she never lived up to their potential." And instead of a legacy all you left is regrets, excuses and I.O.U.'s. All you left was your kingdom of pursuits and possessions that benefitted no one but yourself and will merely rot in your absence.

If you want to do something about this fear...join me for a 30 day journey of turning things around. Over these next 30 days we will work to turn your "ship" around so when you leave this world you have left a legacy and you will be missed.

Download the Sunday Sermons here.

Craig Cuccia & Cafe Reconcile

Cedarbrook is sending off our 10th and 11th teams to Central City, New Orleans to help build a dormitory for a treatment center at Living Witness Church. But right down the block is Cafe Reconcile which has some of the best food on the planet. What's really cool is that this cafe is a ministry in disguise. The owner, Craig Cuccia, started it out of a sense that he had to give back after being so blessed in his own life. The intention of the cafe is to revitalize the area and get people off the streets and into a productive lifestyle.

I had the pleasure of meeting and talking to Craig while I was in New Orleans last year. He treats everyone like a long-lost friend, sitting down to join you for a meal if you ask him and telling his story. I've never met anyone like him. He is the quintescent entrepreneur only he's not working to build his kingdom. He's doing it all to help others. I'd love to catch whatever he's got and help him spread it! Very inspiring.

I hope you'll read the article in the Catholic Digest about Craig but it closes out with his outlook on ministry...

I truly believe it’s the grace of God, like everything is. I try to stay tuned to the right way to go. The diving board of faith gets higher and the dark hole you’ve got to dive into gets deeper, but you’ve just got to dive off and trust that God catches you along the way. ... God can use anybody anywhere anyhow, and it’s up to us to open the door and let him use us.

May God give us more Craig Cuccia's. Maybe you are the next one!

By the way, try the Catfish and the bread pudding when you're there. I'm pretty sure they'll be serving the same recipe in heaven.

What if You Had One Month to Live?

It's an interesting question, isn't it? What if you had one month to live? How would you change your life...if at all? It reminds me of the recent movie, The Bucket List... the list that we create before we "kick the bucket".

Did you know that Jesus had a Bucket List? That's what I'll be talking about on Easter... the things that Jesus did before he died.

And then in the month of April Christine and I will be preaching on how we might change our lives as individuals and as a church if we knew that we had one month to live.

So, I invite you to take the challenge;

• Listen to the six sermons (at church or on-line)
• Read the book (30 short chapters in 30 days)
• Join a small group to discuss the book (six weeks)
• And let God change your life!

You can keep living like you are living. What will people say at your funeral?

Or, you can choose to finish strong by changing your life now -while there is still time. How might the stories change at your funeral if you did?

I hope you'll seize this opportunity. We've got everything in place to help you make a profound difference in your life. Don't pass it up!